Sunday, July 30, 2006

July 31st, 2006 - Waiting Stinks!!!

Isn't that the truth??? Anxiously awaiting to get preggo. That's why I'm saying waiting stinks! lol I know...I'm like a little kid when it comes to waiting. No surprises here...just tell me. Can't wait.

What's that saying about "waiting" "virtue" "patience"??? Oh whatever! LOL Its hard to wait, but I think that is only natural. The donor and I are not in sync yet, so we will hope to be in sync with our next cycle. So no worries...our journey moves on and well, just more time for my IP to learn the funny odd things about how I can't stand animals and animal smells, but we have a beautiful black lab named Joe (you know, Joe from Blues Clues?) that lives with us. I don't know what it is, but I've had problems with Smells all my life. I can't even go to the public restrooms in the Travel kwim??? lol

Well, things all happen for a reason and soon, one of these postings will be me shouting that we are on our way back to CA for the transfer!!! Think positive thoughts for us!!! You know what? I was thinking that if we do the transfer in early September (that was my unprofessional guess when it will happen now), my IP will have twins (of course, with me carrying them)....the twins will come early...but healthy early, of course...and it will be on my birthday! May 6th! So things all happen for a reason!!! lol

Hope all of you who live in places where there is a heat advisory take care of yourselves. Be careful out there. The news says we should NOT do our laundry today or tomorrow!!! Is that AWESOME or what??? Ok...they really said that we should not do laundry until after 10 pm in order to conserve energy. Yeah, just what I want to do tonight at 10! I will be watching SoapNet then. Gosh, do I love watching SoapNet before bed! lol Maybe we can do with out clean laundry until Wed. Well take care of yourselves in this heat!!!

Have a great week everyone!

A Surrogate Mom

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

July 26th, 2006 - 5 months until Christmas!!!


Just looking for a fun Title. How does that work? :)

Well, it looks like there might be a chance that the Transfer will not happen next month as planned. BUT that's okay, we are still going to be positive that it will happen in August, but if it happens in September, that is okay too. Things happen for many reasons. You don't realize how much work goes into a planned pregnancy! lol I supposed its a lot better then the "oops" we're having a baby. :)

Well September is probably a better month to go to Disney anyways...and I know the kids will enjoy missing a week of school for some fun! Their friends do it all the time and its their turn! ALSO, since I'm a jeans only gal....Sept might be nicer for me! lol See it all happens for a good reason, right?!

I referred a friend to the Agency to be a surrogate. Her screening and physical were today. I sure hope that she does well. She was very nervous, but then so was I when I went in for my screening. I think she will do fine. I'm so excited for her. I've been very happy with my choice. :)

Well, nothing exciting going on here. My kids are getting bored but its been to hot out to really enjoy anything. Actually wish it would rain so the grass would turn green.

Got to run...dinner is ready (or burning)....
Have a great day!

A Surrogate Mom

Thursday, July 20, 2006

July 19, 2006 - I Got my "friend"!!!

Most times when you text message a guy that you got your "thing," it's usually because you're both stressing if you're pregnant or not....BUT not in my case! My IP and I have been waiting for me to get "it" because we can now get my calendar ready for my IVF transfer. Its so exciting! Waiting too for the egg donor's cycle to begin this week too. The clinic should be sending the calendars out next week. I can't wait because then the kids and I can plan our trip to CA!!!

We heard that the Pirate ride at Disney was changed to go with the movie, so the kids and I went to see the movie today. They really enjoyed it. Not sure I understood the end because I wasn't paying attention. lol

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

Sunday, July 16, 2006

July 16th, 2006 - What my 5 yr old said today

Happy Sunday!!!

Had to drive into town to get some food and took my 5 year old with me. We were talking about our trip to CA and how he is so excited to go to Disneyland. I happened to mention how IP was excited to take us and to meet him and his sister. I used my IP's name to him and he's like, who is that? So I told him that was the guy I was going to have a baby for... a baby that was not mine or his daddy's. I could tell he was thinking about this and he said "I guess I didn't realize you were going to have another baby. I thought you were going to sell one of us!"

Ok, I did my best not to laugh, but out of curiosity I asked him which of the 4 of my children should I give to my IP. He said it was a tough decision. Kids are just so sweet and funny! Of course I told him I was helping my IP make a baby and he would take the baby home with him...and send us pictures as the baby grew up.

Definately looking forward to our trip to CA next month, as well as my IP meeting my 5 yr old. Of course, I would like him to eventually meet all my children, but my 5 yr old is very unique...funny...just the best to have conversations with and get his interpretation on how things are.

Btw...tonight is the last night of my pack of BC pills! So like I said...we should know more once I get my "thing!" lol BTW...and its funny to talk to a guy about getting it...but its a good laugh and he's learning!

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

July 11th, 2006 - Update!!!

What a long day. Talked to the gal at the Clinic who does the calendar for us. She thinks that the transfer should take place around the week of August 27! We will know for sure next week when both the egg donor and I start our cycles!

My IP (and me too) is very excited now...finally...its going to happen.

My two kids are excited too because they will come to CA with me.

Me...I am way excited and then to find out how many take. Can't wait!

Not too much to say today. Will post again when I find out more!

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

July 10th, 2006 - Update!!!

Where does time go? Still not pregnant. Since the last time I posted, DH and I considered relocating with the kids to CA, but then things changed at his current job here in MN that remaining here would be better for us.

I'm still on birth control pills and will start my 4th pack of pills next week. I am very anxious to get pregnant. Seems like I've been waiting forever...but patience....

Contacted the Fertility Clinic and seems that I must wait for the egg donor to get in sync with me with her cycles. BUT they are confident that the IVF transfer will take place mid August. I hope so!

I am planning to go to Disneyland before my appt and bringing two of my kids for fun. So the kids and I are saving up for the trip to CA and Disney. (You'll have to check out my eBay site and businesses.)

Well it exciting that maybe next month will be time! I am going to call the clinic in the AM and see whats going on.

Hope all is well with you!
A Surrogate Mom

Saturday, July 8, 2006

June 4th, 2006 - Surrogate & IP Retreat Weekend!

What a blast! Can't wait until next year! I had the best time of my life and I know now that I made a wonderful decision to be a surrogate, plus I have a great IP!

I was lucky to get a direct flight out on Northwest. Got there and waited outside for the Agency's white van. I panicked when it passed me and I thought I would have to wait another hour for the next one. Turns out that they van had been circling LAX for a while picking up Surrogates. I too had my turn of riding in circles in the van around LAX. lol Got to meet a bunch of surrogates, newbies and returning ones. I felt like we all bonded...some of the gals who I will keep in touch with too.

Was able to check in to the hotel when we go there. I was sort of sad because my roommate did not show up...maybe she was too pregnant or something. So I had a room to myself.

There was a pampering session for the surrogates before our dinner. Some had manicures while others had hand or foot massages. I choose the hand massage. During this time, the Agency brought in a cart FULL of assorted size boxes from CRATE AND BARREL!!! These gifts were part of a Get To Know You for the agency of the surrogates. We all got to choose a box, put our name on it and on Sunday, when we turned in our assignment, we would get our gift. Inside those boxes where gifts worth $25+ with one having a $500 gift card! No...I didn't get the gift card! Bummer. lol But I got some cute cookie cutters!

Dinner was fun. Met more surrogates. Ate some great food. Then went back to my room to crash.

On Saturday morning there was a breakfast for the Surrogates and Intended Parents. We were told to sit close to the buffet because the lines were long. So my IP and I did! lol It was a lot of fun. Not everyone's surrogate or IPs were able to come. There were some surrogates who IPs were from out of the country. Thought that was neat. You know, it was sort of like family day at camp and everyone's parents attend but yours! kwim? Umm...that would be me. Thank goodness my IP was there, as he actually lives in CA. :) Nice for me!

The speaker at breakfast was the president of the Family Pride Coalition. Her speech was just motivating and made you realize your responsiblity to society to educate others about our growing community. And I do feel that as a surrogate I can help to do just that.

Something interesting.....the speaker mentioned about a study done where 23% of our children live with two parents, and obviously this study was done on a family with heterosexual parents.

Lunch was fun. Got to visit more with my IP and others. The speakers were IPs (a couple and a single father), a surrogate, and an egg donor. Gosh, I can't remember if I forgot anyone. lol It was facilitated by the Owner & CoFounder of the Agency. It was was the food. (OMG, we ate good for three days!) Just to be in the room with all the people was just incredible. There was so much much feeling in this room. All I know...I was thinking that I'm glad I was not pregnant because anything anyone said/shared, I could feel the tears coming to my eyes. was just incredible.

Backing up to breakfast. They introduced the employees from the Agency, everyone involved in making this retreat possible....then they had the Intended Parents stand up...and last but not least...the Surrogates. Just remembering this and writing this still brings emotional tears to my eyes! You just had to be there. It was the best feeling to be part of all of be be part of making it possible for these people to become parents. It was a room full of love and happiness, forget about your troubles, problems and hate in our world. There just was NO ROOM for anything but love and happiness. The positive energy in the room was definately felt by all. My tears of joy were also because as I looked around the room at all the Surrogates, I realized what amazing women they are for what they are doing. Not anyone can be a surrogate. It takes a very special person to be a surrogate. I am very proud to be part of this community. Side note: Its sort of funny if you think about it...the surrogate can be a very powerful person! Our IPs need us! LOL I'm so glad my IP has a great sense of humor. that was Breakfast and Lunch. Dinner was on the roof top. Gorgeous view and wonderful dinner and desserts! lol BUT, man, it was SUNNY and hot up on the roof! lol

Oh, I guess it would be nice to talk about the seminars/classes that they had for the surrogates. Well we got gifts in each one...that was fun. lol The things they had for us were fun. Learned a lot, got to visit with people.

There was time before dinner to walk around. So a friend, my IP and I walked down to Santa Monica Blvd. Was a nice walk until we had to walk back! Walking up that HILL was a workout. I think that was more work then SEX! (LOL TMI???) It was fun visiting.

Sunday came. It was sad for the weekend to come to an end. The retreat ended at the House of Blues. We all met in the lobby. I was on the first van run to LAX. I was also excited to find out that 4 other surrogates were on my flight as they had connecting flights in Minneapolis! Anyways...loaded our stuff in the van and then took off for the House of Blues. I was smart...I rode with my IP. I learned about walking the day before. lol

The House of Blues was a blast. It was Sunday Brunch and there was a gospel band there. Reminded me a lot of New Orleans (one of the many places I went to college, lol). The food was good. It was a great time there. And then it was time to go to LAX.

It was sad to go. Sad to leave my new friends and hope to cross paths with them again...possibly at next years retreat. Sad to say bye to my IP, but I will see him again for the transfer. What a sweetie...he got pastries for the kids. YUMMY!!!! The gals and I stuck our fingers in some of it on the way home to try it. Heck, didnt think the kids would mind...they eat anything! LOL

The flight home was a lot of fun. A lot of chatting and laughing. Three of us got to sit together, so that made the time on the flight go fast.

I wish I could name names of people at the agency here but I am not sure what I can say or not. All I know is that I am truly impressed with everything and each of the employees at the Agency. I am rather shy...ok, not as outgoing as some of the others I didn't really get to know many of the Agency workers as some, but I watched them and listened to them. (LOL, I hope that doesn't make me a stalker!) They are so lucky to have the jobs that they do. I tell you, I would someday love to be a case manager for the agency. (I used to be a case manager for many years for the State of MN, that I think it could happen!) The agency put on a great retreat! And while I am 38 now, I hope that I will be able to be a surrogate 1 or 2 more times...yeah, so I can go to the retreat. lol

I was happy to be back in MN...and home to my family. It truly was a great weekend.

May 20th, 2006 - Match Confirmed

Well, just got back from CA. Met my IP. Great guy. The agency did a great job in matching us. It was such a relief to finally meet. He brought me these beautiful exotic flowers. That was so nice....hmmm, my husband has never done that before! lol

We had lunch at a restaurant outside the agency. My IP and DH seemed to get along. It was fun getting to know each other. My IP gave us a ride to the hotel after this. DH made me sit in the front...oh great. Well, let me tell you....I think some small person had sat in the front previously because I felt like a HUGE whale or something sitting in the front seat. I guess if I was smart, I could have adjusted the seat. LOL I was too nervous anyways.

At the hotel, I had to go take a nap, as once again, I had no sleep from being excited. I knew I wanted to work with him, so I would just call the agency and let them know. The agency actually called me to say that my IP liked me and wanted to work together. PHEW...I hate I was very relieved. My IP offered to take me to dinner since DH and his buddy from San Diego were going to hang out. But I was tired and took a 3 hour nap. I could have slept longer but I was hungry. So went out to dinner with DH and his buddy. It was the first time these two actually met. They have been buddies online (on Xbox) for two years, so this was nice for them.

Well, got my IP programmed in my cell phone now. Ready for the next step.

Leave for CA in two weeks for the retreat. My IP will be attending so that will be nice to visit again.

May 6th, 2006 - Happy Birthday To ME!

LOL Just thought I would share with you that I turned 38 today! 5 years ago today I met my birth mom for the first time! Seems just like yesterday! lol

Not doing anything for my birthday. We are just busy with this and that. Decided that we will do dinner in CA for my birthday. We leave in 2 weeks.

May 3rd, 2006 - Scheduling the Match Meeting!!

Heard from my case manager today. (She's great, btw!)

Our match meeting is scheduled for May 19th. I'm so excited. Can't wait to meet my IP. I wish I could share about my IP, as he seems like a great person! AND, lol, I have read his match profile so many times now, that I probably need to print another copy. Heck, test me on the info, I know it all now! lol

I've been completing tons of papers for this and that. I am very impressed how organized everything has been. I am pretty anxious for this to get going since filling out my application back in January! They've begun the paperwork for life insurance and medical.

Oh...we will meet my IP, chat and then go out to lunch/dinner to get to know each other. Then after the meeting we have 24 hours to let the agency know if this will work or not.

I think it should work. I have good vibes about all this.

April 25th, 2006 - Invitation to the Agency Retreat

I got my invite to the Agency Retreat for Surrogates and Intended Parents. Its the first weekend in June. No kids, no DH. Ok...I'm there! Can't wait to go.


April 14th, 2006 - We have a match!

Yeah! I have been matched. My IP needs to find an egg donor now and then a match meeting between my IP and DH & me will be set up.

This is very exciting. :) Plus it means another fun trip to CA with DH.

April 13th, 2006 - My Second Potential Match Profile

The agency called today about another possible match. My request was to work with a couple, but they asked if I would be willing to work with a single person. At first I was going to say no, but then I thought....who am I to judge? I was a single parent once and proud of it. Why deny a single person that right? I said that I would work with a single person.

I am very happy they called me about this person. Our personal profiles matched to a T and the person was open to working with an out of state surrogate. (most like to work with CA surrogates because the laws are more lax there) I got good vibes about working with this person, so I let the agency know right away that I would like to work with this person.

So now what happens, the Agency will contact this Potential "Intended Parent" (aka IP) with my profile info. Hopefully this person will like me. Funny I'm all worried that the IP won't like me or want someone skinnier. (Ok...I'm not bad...just haven't lost the weight from baby #4) Why wouldn't the IP like me? rofl Ok...another waiting game...

April 12th, 2006 - My first potential match profile

That was indeed quick! Cute couple from the East Coast. After reviewing their personalized profile and matching preference questionnaire, I really liked them and was willing to work with them. I did have some concerns which I felt might not make a good match, which the Agency agreed. So will wait for another potential match.

I am very glad that the agency lets me choose first, as to whom I want to work with.

April 10th, 2006 - Results of my nicotine test


YES! Just the news I wanted to hear. What a relief and no more stressing about this. Its funny...I have never been a smoker, never cared for it, nor would I date anyone who smoked. AND no I wasn't desparate when I married my husband. lol

The bad thing though...I have repeatedly told DH how the second hand smoke affects the children, and this only proves to him now that its not affecting the kids. He is good about not smoking around the children but if the children go down to his playroom (yes, his adult playroom...big screen and xbox 360!, lol), then they are around smoke. We live in a new construction home and by law, the new homes must have air exchangers. These air exchangers work great in homes that there are smokers because it pulls the smoke out...and your walls and ceiling dont turn yellow. DH smokes in his playroom and outside, and NEVER upstairs where the kids are all the time.

Nevertheless, DH is cutting back on smoking and will be smoke free soon, as he promised.

Just thought I would share this too. DH's family are all smokers...big smokers. (yuck, eh?) DH has smoked since he was 13, so quitting now at age 36, is a big deal for him. I am happy that he is quitting so he can live many more years with the children and me! From now until the end of my surrogacy, I will be staying away from places that will subject me to second hand smoke...that includes family events unless they come to our home. I am medically cleared and ready to be matched! At the screening they said that there are more Intended Parents then surrogates, so hopefully there will be a match for me quickly. Will call the Agency to let them know I'm cleared to go. HOW EXCITING!!!

April 1, 2006 - Telling Family and Friends about the Surrogacy


I thought I would take this time to share with you the reactions of people.

I chose to be open about my surrogacy. As far as the couples identity, color, nationality, religion, and sexual preference, that is personal and private, and basically not important as far as I am concerned. I will choose to work with a couple whose profiles are similar to mine and go from there.

Majority of the people I have told think that its a great thing I am doing. Many people have friends who have had problems conceiving.

I had probably 2 negative people. The first was a nurse at the local ER. I didn't ask her opinion, I was just wanting to know where the closest Level 3 hospital was. She got on me about ethical and moral issues. That just irritated me. It didn't change how I felt but I know that I'm going to stay clear of people like her. lol The other negative was a local friend who was against being a surrogate for gays and lesbians. She really had a lot to say, which of course, I wasn't interested in hearing because her views were obviously closed minded. So another person to stay clear of. lol

First reactions from some friends were "How much money are you going to get?" Ok, I thought that was a bit rude, but ok, respect what comes out of their mouth. lol

I told my oldest daughter who is 9 what I wanted to do about a month ago. She thought it was neat and asked if she could tell her friends.

My oldest son, 12, said ok. He didn't seem to care too much. lol

My 4 yr old said that it was fine, BUT no more kids living here because baby (18 months) is enough for him to handle. lol He also mentioned that there weren't enough rooms in our new home for more babies.

The baby is too young to tell. lol

DH told his parents what I was doing before we left for CA. He also explained to his dad that it would be someone elses egg and sperm, nothing from me or him. OK. So when we get back from CA, his dad calls him to say that his mom and him approve of my decision to be a surrogate. His dad also said his mom asked are the parents ok if the baby comes out Chinese? (lol, I'm 100% Chinese, btw) What made this even MIL is a nurse!

My birth aunt (I was adopted at birth, btw) was a bit upset with me for being a surrogate for strangers, but as I told her I would not do this for family or friends. I think doing it through a good agency was my best route. My birth aunt has been wanting children of her own and has not been able to conceive. I really feel for her but I think for me there would be more issues to deal with...and problems waiting to happen. Not a chance I want to take.

Overall, I think the reaction/responses have been good. Many people haven't heard of surrogacy or have never known someone who has done this before, so they are just as excited for me and to follow my journey. So I am happy about that.

For those following my journey, I hope that you enjoy reading about my journey and share in the excitement.

March 29th, 2006 - We are home!

OMG....what an awesome SHORT time in CA. I had a nice time. We stayed at a really nice hotel, just off of Sunset Blvd.

Ok, so here is how it went....

The flight out was fine. We transferred in Phoenix. Wow...its beautiful there...well all I saw were the mountains as we flew into the airport there. When we got to CA, a driver was waiting for us. Its fun to see your name on the big white card! LOL We were a little early for our appointment at the agency, so at this cute little place. We met with so many people. I was nervous. I had to take some psychological tests on the computer. I hope I did ok because I had no sleep from the excitement of going. I think I was sleeping while answering the questions. I just wanted it to be done with. lol Everyone at the agency was so nice.

After that was over, we were on our own until the next day with the fertility dr. So we went to the hotel, walked around and had dinner. LOL Nothing too exciting as we were both really exhausted.

Went to my appt at the fertility clinic. Love the doc I will be working with. He is funny and outgoing, which really helps. He says I'm boring...medical history boring. The exam went well. I am going to be tested for nicotine because DH is a chain smoker. DH does not smoke around the main areas of the house where the kids and I are, but downstairs and outside. I'm not a smoker, never have been, and I will be upset if I test positive. The doc says that no one wants to work with a surrogate who is positive for nicotine. Dh stated he will quit, as it is time that he should and because I want to be a surrogate. Will find out in two weeks my results of the exam and nicotine. How stressful! I know my exam should be fine as I've been healthy forever and had 4 great pregnancies.

The trip back to MN was fun as our connecting flight was through Las Vegas this time. We had a 3 hour layover. We were able to get on an earlier flight in Vegas so we got home at midnight, rather then 4 am, which was our original flight. It was nice to get home and see the kids. The kids had made Welcome Home decorations so that was fun. I should have taken pictures. oh well.

We are home safe. Now to wait two weeks for the results!

March 26, 2006 - Leaving for CA!

Well, the sitter is here to watch the kids until we get back. Everything is ok for me to do my screening and medical stuff.

I'm pretty excited. See you when I get back!

March 23rd, 2006 - Preparations for my trip for "screening"

OMG, the agency just realized that I'm still nursing and that might be a problem. Meaning our trip to CA might be cancelled. Oh I hope not. DH will be very upset because he took off work those two day and its too late for his work to get jobs for him. (DH is in construction.) So keeping my fingers crossed that all goes ok.

I've always been regular, even with nursing. I will stop nursing immediately though. :(

March 20th, 2006 - Update on my application process to get better at this journaling stuff.

Here is what has happened over the last month or so.

Had my phone interview. I was so nervous, but I think it went well. Turned in additional paperwork, criminal checks came back fine. As a surrogate you choose who you work with. I am open to working with "anyone." My preference is a happy gay couple who want at least twins. My parents would probably roll over in their grave if they knew that I wanted to help a gay couple, but I would think they would respect my decision. My in-laws would probably not agree with my decision. Anyways, bottom line, I feel there should be no discrimination (color, religion, sexual preference, etc) on who can be a parent, so long as they truly want to be loving and caring parents, and to raise their children in a healthy and loving environment.

After the phone interview, I had to call them when my next cycle started, as then I would fly out to CA for my screening and physical two weeks later.

Received my benefits package today. That was exciting. My screening is schedule for March 27th & 28th in California. DH will have to fly out there with me.

BTW....Last month I got my husband his big screen tv and X-box 360. All I know is he better appreciate that 360 b/c I called WalMart and GameStop everyday to see if they got a shipment in for them. So he's happy. :)

I'm excited for our trip to CA. Someone from our church helped refer me to someone to watch our children, since we have no family and friends where we live. We are fairly new to the area. DH and I never took a honeymoon when we got married because we had to quick get married and go to Texas to take care of some legal matters concerning him adopting my oldest son who was born there. So, our Anniversary is March 29th, so this will be nice to have a little fun in CA, even if its a quick trip. I will have my screening on the 27th, meet people at the agency. Then on the 28th, I have my physical.

Haven't flown in a long time. Sort of having anxiety about it, crashing and who will take care of the kids, blah blah blah. I know it will all be fine. Its hard to be away from the kids when I am with them 24/7. Looking forward to time with DH though. :)

January 30th, 2006 - Processing Application

Ok....Legal got back to them and things are a go. Will have my phone interview soon. I'm excited but nervous.

January 20th, 2006 Status of My Application

Well I finally heard from the agency. They said my application looks perfect and that I fit the criteria. yeah! BUT.... they need to wait to hear from Legal if they can work with surrogates from MN. I guess surrogacy is not legal in a few states. Fortunately in MN, surrogacy is legal. The agency just does not have working relations established here, so they want to make sure this will work.

Well, at least thats some good news. :)

January 10th, 2006 - He Said NO

My husband said no right away and gave me three reasons: 1. it was just another crazy idea of mine to make some $$$ to continue staying home, 2. I would not do good with someone telling me what to eat, drink, wear, do, etc. and 3. Could I give up the baby in the end.

Well, it isn't about or for the money (although I bet any good surrogate would say that too). The agency matches you with parents with similar personalities, wants, expectations, etc. Lastly, I could give up the baby because I would be the gestational surrogate. Gestational surrogates are basically the "oven," as people seem to call it. I will not use my eggs nor my husband's sperm. A traditional surrogate uses her own eggs. Basically, I told him, that I was doing this because its something I always wanted to do. I felt I was meant to help another, since I have had 4 great pregnancies.

So it came down to this from my husband. 1. No more babies in our family and so long as we are not stuck with anyone's baby, fine. 2. Realize I can't change my mind once I start the process. 3. He'll watch our children but he's not going to be in the delivery room 4. He wanted a big screen HDTV and an Xbox 360.

So the decision has been made. I have completed the application to be a surrogate now that I have his approval. (Just haven't told him that he has to take time off from work and fly to CA with me a couple of times. Will tell him later.)

You know, I don't think being a surrogate mom is for everyone. You just "know" if you can. LOL, so professional sounding, eh?

My husband asked me to marry him after being together for a month. I just laughed because I thought this was his tactic to have sex with me. He was serious. He wanted to marry me and be the dad to my two little ones. He said you either know or you don't. If you have reservations about the person from the gecko, well then, its just not worth wasting time on the relationship. I liked his thinking, as I remember the wasted years of trying to make relationships work with the dumb a$$es I've been with. I said Yes. I had no reservations of getting married and spending the rest of my life with him. Funny to think about friends who have been together for 10+ years and STILL don't know if they are with the right person. lol

So, I have no reservations about being a surrogate mom. :)

January 3, 2006 - 2:00 am CST

I'm still awake and online. Chatting with an internet friend in Oregon. Its only midnight her time, but wondering what she's doing up still. She is completing an online application to become a surrogate mom with an agency that some of her co-workers have used. Interesting. So I check it out and am very impressed. I tell her how I have wanted to do this but never knew where to start, plus there have been signs in my life that I feel I was meant to be a surrogate mom.


When I found out I was pregnant with my first baby in Nov 1992, there were people telling me to give up my baby because I was single. They said there were people out there that would be better parents, people who were desparate for a baby of their own but could not conceive. Side note: That really irritated me. lol Who is to say that as a 24 year old financially stable single woman could not be a good mom, especially to my own child??? I just don't think people think before they open their mouths! Ok...back to the signs...I thought, why not have a baby for someone who couldn't? At that time I didn't know that it was called "Surrogate Mom." I even considered contacting my cousin in Florida and his partner about being a surrogate for them, but nixed that idea...dont do things like this for family. It can only cause problems.

One time a gal from work came over with her Taro cards and one that has bothered me lately was the one with the three little boys. Yes, it could mean anything but she was pretty sure that I was going to have three children....boys. Well my second child ended up being a girl and the third was a boy. BUT then I had a fourth child! Yes I know things in life will change causing the outcomes to change. I was almost sure that my fourth baby would never be born...thankfully, she was born. I was not convinced that I had purposely altered my life to make things change. Another psychic had brought up that I would have 3 boys as well. He felt really strongly about that. I guess we shall see.

There is another sign that I'd like to share but need to get the words together to explain. last sign was my friend giving me the link to the site she was applying to. So I completed the application at 2 am in the morning...well as much as I could, as I realized that I couldn't just do this on my own. Urgh....I needed my husband's consent. husband is pretty cool about whatever I do and we were done having children. Ok....will see what he has to say about this.