November 28th, 2006 - Do You Believe In Miracles?

Hi!

Had my ultrasound today. Was able to see the yolk sac a little better then 4 days ago. Possible view of some fetal pull...hmmm...no clue what that means but I think that's good. Heartbeat was very very hard to see between the pulsing of the blood vessels, but pretty sure there was a heartbeat. Must wait for the radiologist to review the pics and contact the clinic with the results. I will probably be having more ultrasounds in the days to come, as well as another beta test to see where my levels are at...but will have to wait to hear from the clinic.

I still feel we won't see anything real good until around 8 weeks. Just my opinion from having 4 of my own children.

Well I hope that we will find out that the transfer did take and we will have a baby. Its been a pretty stressful few weeks not knowing...still not knowing. I am more hopeful though...ok...today I am. :)

Thank you to my IP for the beautiful silver angel charm. Got it on my surrogate charm bracelet! What a nice surprise!!! Love it!!!

Well, my husband came home from work today...early...so early, my baby and I were still snoozing on the couch...our morning ritual after the other 3 kids leave for school! (That's the joy of being a SAHM!) He's bummed and irritated with his job...while its a great job that he's had for a few years, they just can't seem to give him the hours and jobs are cancelling left and right. And well...its really hard on us when we have only his income to depend on. I feel bad for him because I know how much this stresses him. We had talked this past summer about just packing up the kids and moving somewhere to begin a new life for us. Then his job offered a job change/promotion, which seems to have fizzled out and never happened. So dh has decided to go back to his job search in/around Temecula, CA. I am hoping that he finds something that will make him happy...and busy.

The thought of moving to CA is exciting and hope that this time it can really work out. I know too that this would be such a plus for my IP since he lives in CA. And if moving to CA doesn't find happiness for DH, we can always move back to MN.

Well, that's it for now. Must get some things done before I pick up the kids from school.

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

November 27th, 2006 - It's Monday!!!

Well, I'm not sure what to make of this but my HCG level was elevated (15,000) which has the doctor surprised after Friday's ultrasound results. The dr said it wasn't looking good and it was time to stop...but not until we check my levels. Well, surprise, surprise. Not getting my hopes up too much. I do not have any good feelings on how I think this might go. So guess we will just have to continue to wait and see! I can't help but wonder if there is a problem with the baby. I hope not. I do hope that I'm pregnant! Heck, I'll even give up my hopes on having twins...just having ONE baby will be happy news!!!

Tomorrow I am to have an ultrasound to see if they can see a heartbeat. It will be 4 days since the last and I wonder if it will even be there yet. I hope so. In my experience, my ob has done my ultrasounds at 8 weeks to determine heartbeats and number of babies. I was 6.4 weeks along as of last Friday.

Well waiting to hear back from radiology about an appointment for tomorrow. They haven't received the fax and they are all booked tomorrow. So they will have to get back to me.

:) Until tomorrow!

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

November 25th - 2006 - A month until Christmas!!!

I had my ultrasound yesterday. Results aren't good and on Monday I will have a beta test to see if there is a change in my levels. This will be the last step before we stop all meds and get ready for another transfer. Since there is a sac, they just want to make sure there is no baby before they stop this. I am at 6.4 weeks and the sac is too small and there is no heartbeat. Its not looking good and there really isn't hope left that this transfer worked.

I will have to ask them if they can tell why the transfer did not take.

So will hope that Monday we can move on and start a new cycle for the next transfer. I hope that we can get the transfer in before Christmas as the clinic shuts down for the Holidays.

Wish I had better news but will continue positive thoughts towards a successful transfer soon!

Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving holiday!
One month to Christmas!!! :)

Hugs,
A Surrogate Mom

November 18th, 2006 - WHAT'S GOING ON????

Where does time go? Have you been wondering what the heck has been going on with me??? Its been a stressful 3 weeks for me.

November 5th - Had my first beta test and the results were disappointing. 31

November 7th - had my second beta test and not much of improvement: 64

Anything over 100 for my first beta test would have been a good pregnancy. Dr said the numbers were very bad and didn't look good...but anything could happen...so there is hope.

My third beta test was 229...ok getting better but not a very strong pregnancy. URGH ok...so am I pregnant or not? They say I'm pregnant but a good pregnancy, no. BUT I have to go for a 4th Beta test now. Well the 4th beta test is 1093. So now I'm confused.

Ultrasound was done yesterday. I am just over 5 weeks along. The tech did not make me feel confident about the entire procedure. I am schedule for another ultrasound on November 24th. Anyways, one sac was found, no heartbeat. It was really early to see anything. Was lucky to see the one sac. The nurse from the clinic says that it is measuring smaller then it should be, but didn't say if that is good or bad. I figure its not good if its too small.

Its so frustrating for me and I doubt anyone can understand that or the feelings I have. So easy for them to say relax and time will tell. Yeah, well thats easy to say but it would be nice to know "yes" you are pregnant and "yes" everything will be ok.

I do hope that the next ultrasound will bring miracles and we find out that at least one of the three embryos took. If this transfer did not take, then all fertility drugs stop and we wait for my period. Once I get my period, then we will begin working towards a new transfer...but I hope that the ultrasound on Friday will bring us good news.

Well, despite the stress and waiting phase, I am doing well. I am healthy. Have not caught the colds that the kids have picked up from school. I still have headaches from time to time, but not as severe and frequently as in the beginning. Guess that means my body is getting used to the drugs.

I had a little stress today. Realized that while I might have a lot of shots in my bag, that doesn't mean I have enough meds! Since I have another person giving me the shots, I didn't realize I had enough for one more shot after last night! I won't be able to get more overnighted to me until Tuesday! Luckily I have enough of the pills that I can double up on until I can get more meds for my shots. Ok...good thing...this means that I dont have shots again until Tuesday! lol a little break for me!

Well, I hope that gets your caught up with where I am. :) Got my fingers crossed for better news next Friday!

Have a great week!
A Surrogate Mom

October 30th, 2006 - My Baby Turned 2 Today

WOW...time flies...and 6 days until Beta Day! lol

Had a nice uneventful day with my baby, as the kids were in school all day. We just laid around...Ok, I did, while I watched my baby play.

I did buy a box of Early Response EPT for early detection...comes with 3 tests! Will wait until Thursday to try one. :) These were recommended by other surros. I know that it might not work before the beta but it can't hurt to peek right?

ANyways, took the kids out for dinner to celebrate baby's 2nd birthday. Went to their favorite Chinese buffet place. The staff made a special cake plate with for baby and put a candle in it...and sang her happy birthday. Classic look from baby....what the heck are you doing, as she backed away. lol It was cute...as well as nice of the place.

And ended the day by getting my shot from my church friend.

A surrogate mom

October 28th, 2006 - Is It Time Yet?

LOL wish it was time for the beta test. But it was time for the kids and I to go back to MN. We missed home, but it was sad to go. The first thing my son said on the plane...I miss (IP). The kids had such a great time in CA with my IP and his sis and BIL.

I forgot to mention.... IP's BIL has an xbox 360 and so my son was in heaven b/c at home he can not touch his dad's 360 or his older bro 360! So the kids got to play the 360 during this trip.

AND the shots...I couldn't do it...couldnt give them to myself! Luckily, IP's sister was daring enough to do them for me. My husband had to do them for me tonight because we got back home at 11 pm! Too late to get someone to do it. He survived it...as did I. Will continue to have the gal from church do the injections for me. :)

Well...I guess nothing else to report. Guess its just another waiting game until the next step. My baby turns 2 on Monday, Halloween is on Tuesday, kids church activities on Wednesday, children well check ups and Annual Lutefisk dinner on Thursday, and then...Beta Test on Nov 5th!!!

I'm exhausted...back to get some rest!

A Surrogate Mom

October 27th, 2006 - The Day After The Transfer

Well, technically bedrest ended at 8 pm PST time. Its hard being a mom and lay around doing nothing. My IP is pampering and spoiling me...with food. Its sort of like when you overfeed the gold fish and then they are floating on top of the water!!! lol j/k I know I have eaten such great food but by the end of the day, I was so full of food that I couldn't even eat a S'More that the kids made for me...I was like...TAKE IT AWAY! lol I'm not complaining b/c I loved every bit of food I had...so yummy!

It is very nice for me to have stayed at my IP's house rather then at the hotel by myself. I really think that the agency should consider having the surros have a spouse or friend come with them to the transfer, rather then be alone. I guess that's why I wanted my daughter to be there with me. I do know of some surros who's IPs have suggested bringing their spouses along. So maybe just having that option. I know my husband could not have gone because he stayed home and cared for our other 2 kids.

I also like that my IP was able to be here for the transfer, as I know that IPs can not always attend.

Talked with my IP about the ultrasound. Doc likes to do them before releasing surros to their own ob's but for those who live far, just have them done locally to them. We like Doc so IP will have me fly out there for the ultrasound. It will be a quick trip but, personally, I feel my IP will appreciate seeing the ultrasound live. I know when I saw the heartbeat of my first baby, it was exciting, facinating...and made it real for me. I know it will be like that for my IP too.

Well...another day closer to Nov 5th!

A Surrogate Mom