January 1st, 2011 - almost 3 years later

Happy New Year!

Feeling a little sad, but I think it's mostly from an article of an IM's experience. Truly well written and the only thing that stood out was this: “You may think you want to stay in touch now, but trust me, once you have your baby, you’re barely going to remember her name. I call it surrogacy amnesia.” This was the statement made by an agency that the IM had interviewed.

Here is the link to that article: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/02/magazine/02babymaking-t.html?pagewanted=1

At just after 11 pm-ish on this very day...3 years ago, my water broke on Baby B. I remember pacing the hallway thinking CRAP...where's my purse with the OB's number...feeling a little panic, bags not packed (which was not unusual for me...it's not like I ever had a bag packed with my own 4 kids). I remember yelling downstairs to my husband that it was time (actually after I post this, I ought to re-read the actual entry for fun!). I remember calling R and letting him know that I was on the way to the hospital and we'd let him know what was up later. I think it was 2 am and Chuck was calling R to say they were sending me home...found out that R had been trying to get a flight out, but the first one didn't leave until 6 am his time. Anyways, so after 3 tests saying my water didn't break and me trying to be the polite New Yorker that I am (Yes, you can laugh)...I know I did not pee that much...not to mention, I remember the dog licking it up!!! lol Ok...through my insisting before I'd go home, the dr ordered an ultrasound and took one look and said, prep her quick...in a calm voice, but one where I knew it had to happen quickly b/c all of Baby B's fluids were gone. At this time, I'm thinking you have to find my husband to call R back. I remember Chuck saying...but I just called R to tell him it was a false alarm. Still makes me laugh to this day. I wasn't too scared about being rushed to the OR for my c-section...I clearly remember wondering if I'd be able to make the Bingo Buy-In at Grand Casino Hinckley that Saturday...and that the girls would miss me, if I didn't! BTW I was missed...the gals texted and left messages on my phone. Funny how we can remember things so long ago...to the detail!

Babies were all born healthy and were ready to make their appearance..even at 33 1/2 weeks gestation. Today they are just beautiful, happy and healthy as ever! At 4 am CST (guestimate) on January 2nd, 2011...these beautiful triplets will be 3 years old!!!

I still remember the day I met M and we were in the elevator and he brushed something off of R's forehead. It was touching and I thought it was true love for them. :) Too bad I wasn't there to see his reaction when R told his then "new" boyfriend that he was going to have triplets!

I remember that R didn't arrive in MN until about 11 am cst...I'm thinking he came right to my room to see me. Ok, well if he didn't, he at least came to see me right away. And that means a lot to me, after reading the article I shared above. He didn't forget me! That's all that matters! So back to that article and that statement...truly (for me) the saddest part of being a surrogate is the IP forgetting me right after it's over. I'm truly grateful to M & R for remembering me to this day. I hope we'll keep in touch but I understand that people's lives get busy and all.

Well enough babbling for today!

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Kerri, A Surrogate Mom

March 10th, 2010 - 2 years old!!!

Wow, where has the time gone? Xia, Ru, & Zhen turned 2 on January 2, 2010!!! Sorry for the late update. I am thankful everyday for being able to watch the triplets grow up via pictures and videos. Their daddies are just wonderful for that...as well as being parents. I'm loving every minute of watching and hearing how they experience every milestone with the triplets. Each one of them has their own personalities. It's awesome! Their daddies are so blessed. :)

Well I couldn't sleep and was thinking about the triplets, so I thought I would finally jump on here and post a quick update.

January 2, 2009 - HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!

WOW...Exactly 1 year ago at 2 am, as I write this, my OB was telling the ER staff to prep me...it was time for these triplets to make their entrance!!! Baby B (later known as Ru) had enough...and his water (or is that my water??? lol) broke at 11 pm, 3 hours earlier...which is when we called my IP to tell him I was on my way to the hospital! I laugh how they told me 3 times, NO your water didn't break...obviously their high tech tests failed. lol I remember I was a bit panicked when the Dr said it was time...especially after we just called the IP to tell him that it was a false alarm based on the tests. lol

To this day, I remember the first cries of each of the babies as they came into this world! Such strong healthy cries, despite the fact that they were coming at 33 1/2 weeks! To this day, you would never know that they were premies. I am so proud of these little babies, as I know their daddies are today! The picture above is of the triplets (from left to right, Zhen, Ru, Xia) on their first Christmas at Grandma's!

The tears I have as I write this entry to share with you, are those of joy and happiness that I have given to their two wonderful dads. I can just imagine the year they have had and more to come. I am forever thankful for being their surrogate, and for being able to see the triplets grow via pictures. As a first time surrogate, you just don't know what to expect, how you will feel and how much contact you want or if you can even have any.

While today is the triplets birthday, they well celebrate their first birthday on Saturday. Can't wait to see the pictures!

I would like to share that they (the triplets with their daddies) will be filming at their party for ads in repeal of California's passage of Proposition 8 (hope I worded that correctly). For more information, please go to http://www.gettoknowmefirst.org/Overview.html I too am personally sad that Prop 8 passed; it's just not right. I hope that these ads will make a difference and help others realize the importance of Marriage Equality... You have my support here in Minnesota!

Hugs to my little surro triplets as you celebrate your first birthdays! Hugs to your daddies too!!

Love Always,

A Surrogate Mom, Kerri

July 2, 2008 - The Triplets are 6 Months old today!!!

Are they just the cutest little babies or what??? Today they are six months old and healthy...and I personally don't think you could ever tell that they were premies!!! I know I wish that I could just hold them and hug them because they are so big and cute! Yes I miss them but I am greatful that they live with their daddies! I can imagine how busy they keep them...wait until they are mobile! That will be great for them!!! lol

I'm still freezing and sending my breastmilk once a week. We'll be stopping that in a few weeks. While I would do this until they are a year (or at least until I start my next surrogacy), it will be nice to not have to worry about pumping every 4 hours....at least I can get through the night comfortably without having to wake up now to pump. I'm not sure what I will do when I dont have to pump anymore! lol

I have healed well after the c-section. I can finally look at the incision and touch it. After 4 vaginal deliveries...I definately will opt for a c-section with my next surrogacy!!

So I guess this will be my last post for awhile... if I get more pictures at 9 months and a year, I will definately share with you all.

Thank you again for following my journey and hope that there will be a second journey. I already started my blog for that journey...just waiting now.... wish me luck! :)

Have a great day!
Kerri

The Triplets at almost 4 months old!!!

Taken last month (April), Zhen, Ru, Xia. Are they just too cute. I just can't get over how big they are...you would just never know that they were premies.

Thanks to their daddy for sharing these pictures with me and my friends.

April 2, 2008 - The Triplets are THREE MONTHS old

ok...so the picture of them is a couple weeks old. This one was taken on Easter. Sometimes its hard to believe that I was pregnant with triplets!

Can you believe I'm ready to go again??? While I am getting my stuff together to work with a local surrogacy agency, I might go independent with a single guy referred by my IP. My desire is to try for twins. lol yes, I 'm not interested in carrying triplets.

Well we shall see what happens! Just wanted to share this cute picture of the triplets.

Have a great day!

Kerri

March 9th, 2008 - Life After My First Surrogacy

I've been putting this off for way too long. Maybe because I am sad to see that my first journey as a surrogate is over and well...I have to get a job???

I am doing fine emotionally and physically after giving birth to the triplets. I am glad I had the experience of being a surrogate. I am getting tired of people telling me they can't believe I could give up the babies. I didn't give up anything as far as I'm concerned. They were never my babies and I was only too happy to carry them for their father.

When I see pictures of the babies, it makes me feel so good inside that I was a part of helping my IP begin his family. He is so very lucky, as I remember how it was when I became a single mom. I think that is why we were a good match...him being a single dad.

Single dads can do it just as well as single moms...and probably some of them are even better single dads!

I am currently pumping my breastmilk for the babies. Its a lot of work. I pump every 3-4 hours...even getting up once during the night. I have to admit, its nicer to be able to nurse babies then to pump b/c you have to always clean the parts after each pumping. I can do it all in my sleep now too! :) I love my breast pump because its portable and has a battery pack. I take it with me everywhere....to volleyball games, bingo, church, bingo, MNOs, etc...YOU NAME IT!!! I'm ready to pump! lol

So how do I get the milk to the babies??? I freeze the milk in Medela containers or bags. Then once a week I overnight it via FedEx to the family. We just package it in a cooler and then they return the cooler so I have it to send out the next week. Pretty easy...and the babies are getting good milk! I really do like pumping for them because I am eating well...and reminds me to keep drinking my water so I have a lot of milk! lol There are times that my daughter has to run and get another bottle b/c I overflow in one pumping!!! My 3 yr old calls the bottles and stuff, "Mommy's Boobie Toys" TOO FUNNY.

Not sure how long he will want me to pump, but the longer the better...for both babies and me. I lost all the weight I gained within the first two weeks...now I'm working on the weight I gained during the time time trying to get pregnant, fertility drugs, and birth control pills. I don't feel up to exercising yet. I probably should at least walk on the treadmill. My incision area still feels wierd. Its healed and all looking good though.

My post partum checkup was at 7 weeks and my local OB said I was good to go for another surrogacy!!! Unfortunately the OB at the perinatal clinic says he won't sign a release until after 18 months...urgh...I turn 40 this year and well, would like to get pregnant sometime after June. Will have to get a second opinion or see if he will check me to make sure that I am ready. The last fertility dr had told me to wait at least 6 months after a c-section. So we shall see. I really want to be a surrogate one more time.

So backing up some...

My water broke for baby B at 11 pm on Jan 1st. An hour later DH and I made it to the hospital. Wasn't having any significant contractions. Was hooked up to monitors and stuff. They did a test 3 times that came back negative, meaning my water never broke. LOL well there is NO way I would have pee'd like that on accident! And the nurses were telling me that their tests are quite accurate...best on the market. OK whatever. So they were going to send me home...but do an ultrasound before I went. So DH calls the IP to tell him false alarm b/c I knew that he probably didn't listen to me when I said to wait about flying out until I heard from the dr. lol DH said he did make a flight but couldn't get out until 6:30 am his time (which was 8:30 am our time). Anyways...the gal was having a hard time measuring fluid for the babies...the dr comes in and says baby B has no fluid....Prep her for surgery. LOL what? You just told me I was going home and we told the IP it was false alarm. ROFL So then I was super bummed b/c I was thinking I'd be going to Bingo that Saturday! lol DH called IP back and said it was time...for real! By this time, I think it was 2:30 am?? I think it took over an hour to get prepped and stuff.

The c-section wasn't so bad. Little anxiety when they went to put the spinal block in. Then more b/c I had to move but couldn't...sort of felt like a claustophobic attack or something. lol The guy gave me meds to get over the feeling...so that was good. The babies were born and taken away to be washed up. It was awesome to hear the first baby's cry, and then the 2nd and then the 3rd. I never did get to hold the babies after they were born and I regret that. I just wasn't sure how I would feel. The nurse did bring each of them to me to see before they were taken to the nursery. They were so beautiful. They didn't need to go to NICU...they were all healthy and strong for being born at 33 1/2 weeks. I was never sad..ok, that's a lie. I was sad when I had to stay an extra day and then my husband came to pick me up...to find out that I wasn't being released for another day. But other then that, I was ok. I did want to go visit the babies in the nursery but no one asked me or took me. I did ask once but the nurse never got back to me. I didn't really insist b/c I thought maybe it was better that way. But I do regret not holding them at least once.

I recently received pictures of them which I have posted above to share with you all. It was wonderful seeing them...seeing their dad happy feeding them. I wasn't sure how I'd feel. I'm ok. Like any baby you see a picture of, it makes you want to just hug them. So yeah...maybe I wish I could give them a hug. Someday.... Their daddy had mentioned that when they are like 4 or 5, he wanted to bring them to MN to visit so they could see where they were born....and I could see them then.

My stay at the hospital (Abbott Northwestern) was great. The nurses and doctors were super nice and not judgemental about my situation. And if they were, then I didn't know. I was treated very well. I was so ready to go home.

The babies were released from the hospital just under two weeks, I think. I can't remember! lol The babies and their daddy went to stay with his aunt who is a Pediatrician in MI. Last week they went back home to CA, as his paternity leave is finally over. In fact, tomorrow he goes back to work...as a kindergarten teacher. :)

The MN lawyer for the IP was able to get us a court hearing right away. I don't know about my IP but I think it was an exciting emotional event...especially when the judge declared him the sole and legal parent of the triplets. The court hearing was necessary because in the state of MN the "birth" mother's name is put on the birth certificate. So actually before an actual birth certificate was done, we went to court to have my name taken off of it.

Minnesota doesn't have any real surrogacy laws; so being a surrogate here worked out pretty well.

I can't remember much of the last couple of months about my recovery. I still feel wierd where the incision is. I was super busy with my kids and would tire out easily, but it got better each week. I still take naps. I'm emotionally fine about the triplets, being a surrogate, etc. I think any stress or emotions are everyday things...paying bills, not having enough $$$ to go around...lol even having to say NO to bingo :( I think I'm having bingo withdrawal worse then baby blues! For real! lol

I really need to get a job but my little one won't go to school until 2010...so I've been working my hardest to book catalog shows for my home businesses (Pampered Chef and BeautiControl) (lol, trying to send subliminal messages so you will want to book a caty show and enjoy free stuff! j/k) I've been spending the days working on contacting all my old customers to let them know I'm back to "work." So hoping things will pick up again. I did do a home party for PC a couple weeks ago for a group of CafeMom moms. That was fun as I haven't done one ever...and it wasn't really a real traditional party...it was nice and informal. I liked that very much! Well hopefully in 6 months to a year I can be matched up with another family, so I can just concentrate on my family and being a surrogate again.

It was wierd after the birth of the triplets because it happened so fast. The journey was so long but then "just like that" it was over. I'm not sure if I miss being pregnant. I did enjoy it and would and will do it again! lol I liked that I was surprised with my water breaking...but that was better then having to count the days until the c-section. Oh...and I never packed a bag...meant to. lol I wouldn't have known what to pack anyways...not like I knew when I had my last 4 kids too! :)

I guess its back to my boring life...getting adjusted...getting my body back...losing the extra lbs....oh yeah...and the tummy. OMG it was SO BIG that I'm surprised that its not as bad as I thought it would be... lol

Well hope that answers your questions about how I'm feeling. I will try to post one more time as I still gather up my thoughts.

Enjoy the pics!

Have a great day!

Kerri aka A Surrogate Mom