January 3, 2006 - 2:00 am CST

I'm still awake and online. Chatting with an internet friend in Oregon. Its only midnight her time, but wondering what she's doing up still. She is completing an online application to become a surrogate mom with an agency that some of her co-workers have used. Interesting. So I check it out and am very impressed. I tell her how I have wanted to do this but never knew where to start, plus there have been signs in my life that I feel I was meant to be a surrogate mom.

Signs

When I found out I was pregnant with my first baby in Nov 1992, there were people telling me to give up my baby because I was single. They said there were people out there that would be better parents, people who were desparate for a baby of their own but could not conceive. Side note: That really irritated me. lol Who is to say that as a 24 year old financially stable single woman could not be a good mom, especially to my own child??? I just don't think people think before they open their mouths! Ok...back to the signs...I thought, why not have a baby for someone who couldn't? At that time I didn't know that it was called "Surrogate Mom." I even considered contacting my cousin in Florida and his partner about being a surrogate for them, but nixed that idea...dont do things like this for family. It can only cause problems.

One time a gal from work came over with her Taro cards and one that has bothered me lately was the one with the three little boys. Yes, it could mean anything but she was pretty sure that I was going to have three children....boys. Well my second child ended up being a girl and the third was a boy. BUT then I had a fourth child! Yes I know things in life will change causing the outcomes to change. I was almost sure that my fourth baby would never be born...thankfully, she was born. I was not convinced that I had purposely altered my life to make things change. Another psychic had brought up that I would have 3 boys as well. He felt really strongly about that. I guess we shall see.

There is another sign that I'd like to share but need to get the words together to explain.

Anyways...my last sign was my friend giving me the link to the site she was applying to. So I completed the application at 2 am in the morning...well as much as I could, as I realized that I couldn't just do this on my own. Urgh....I needed my husband's consent. Ok...my husband is pretty cool about whatever I do and we were done having children. Ok....will see what he has to say about this.