Sunday, March 9, 2008

March 9th, 2008 - Life After My First Surrogacy

I've been putting this off for way too long. Maybe because I am sad to see that my first journey as a surrogate is over and well...I have to get a job???

I am doing fine emotionally and physically after giving birth to the triplets. I am glad I had the experience of being a surrogate. I am getting tired of people telling me they can't believe I could give up the babies. I didn't give up anything as far as I'm concerned. They were never my babies and I was only too happy to carry them for their father.

When I see pictures of the babies, it makes me feel so good inside that I was a part of helping my IP begin his family. He is so very lucky, as I remember how it was when I became a single mom. I think that is why we were a good match...him being a single dad.

Single dads can do it just as well as single moms...and probably some of them are even better single dads!
I am currently pumping my breastmilk for the babies. Its a lot of work. I pump every 3-4 hours...even getting up once during the night. I have to admit, its nicer to be able to nurse babies then to pump b/c you have to always clean the parts after each pumping. I can do it all in my sleep now too! :) I love my breast pump because its portable and has a battery pack. I take it with me volleyball games, bingo, church, bingo, MNOs, etc...YOU NAME IT!!! I'm ready to pump! lol

So how do I get the milk to the babies??? I freeze the milk in Medela containers or bags. Then once a week I overnight it via FedEx to the family. We just package it in a cooler and then they return the cooler so I have it to send out the next week. Pretty easy...and the babies are getting good milk! I really do like pumping for them because I am eating well...and reminds me to keep drinking my water so I have a lot of milk! lol There are times that my daughter has to run and get another bottle b/c I overflow in one pumping!!! My 3 yr old calls the bottles and stuff, "Mommy's Boobie Toys" TOO FUNNY.

Not sure how long he will want me to pump, but the longer the better...for both babies and me. I lost all the weight I gained within the first two I'm working on the weight I gained during the time time trying to get pregnant, fertility drugs, and birth control pills. I don't feel up to exercising yet. I probably should at least walk on the treadmill. My incision area still feels wierd. Its healed and all looking good though.

My post partum checkup was at 7 weeks and my local OB said I was good to go for another surrogacy!!! Unfortunately the OB at the perinatal clinic says he won't sign a release until after 18 months...urgh...I turn 40 this year and well, would like to get pregnant sometime after June. Will have to get a second opinion or see if he will check me to make sure that I am ready. The last fertility dr had told me to wait at least 6 months after a c-section. So we shall see. I really want to be a surrogate one more time.
So backing up some...

My water broke for baby B at 11 pm on Jan 1st. An hour later DH and I made it to the hospital. Wasn't having any significant contractions. Was hooked up to monitors and stuff. They did a test 3 times that came back negative, meaning my water never broke. LOL well there is NO way I would have pee'd like that on accident! And the nurses were telling me that their tests are quite on the market. OK whatever. So they were going to send me home...but do an ultrasound before I went. So DH calls the IP to tell him false alarm b/c I knew that he probably didn't listen to me when I said to wait about flying out until I heard from the dr. lol DH said he did make a flight but couldn't get out until 6:30 am his time (which was 8:30 am our time). Anyways...the gal was having a hard time measuring fluid for the babies...the dr comes in and says baby B has no fluid....Prep her for surgery. LOL what? You just told me I was going home and we told the IP it was false alarm. ROFL So then I was super bummed b/c I was thinking I'd be going to Bingo that Saturday! lol DH called IP back and said it was time...for real! By this time, I think it was 2:30 am?? I think it took over an hour to get prepped and stuff.

The c-section wasn't so bad. Little anxiety when they went to put the spinal block in. Then more b/c I had to move but couldn't...sort of felt like a claustophobic attack or something. lol The guy gave me meds to get over the that was good. The babies were born and taken away to be washed up. It was awesome to hear the first baby's cry, and then the 2nd and then the 3rd. I never did get to hold the babies after they were born and I regret that. I just wasn't sure how I would feel. The nurse did bring each of them to me to see before they were taken to the nursery. They were so beautiful. They didn't need to go to NICU...they were all healthy and strong for being born at 33 1/2 weeks. I was never sad..ok, that's a lie. I was sad when I had to stay an extra day and then my husband came to pick me find out that I wasn't being released for another day. But other then that, I was ok. I did want to go visit the babies in the nursery but no one asked me or took me. I did ask once but the nurse never got back to me. I didn't really insist b/c I thought maybe it was better that way. But I do regret not holding them at least once.

I recently received pictures of them which I have posted above to share with you all. It was wonderful seeing them...seeing their dad happy feeding them. I wasn't sure how I'd feel. I'm ok. Like any baby you see a picture of, it makes you want to just hug them. So yeah...maybe I wish I could give them a hug. Someday.... Their daddy had mentioned that when they are like 4 or 5, he wanted to bring them to MN to visit so they could see where they were born....and I could see them then.
My stay at the hospital (Abbott Northwestern) was great. The nurses and doctors were super nice and not judgemental about my situation. And if they were, then I didn't know. I was treated very well. I was so ready to go home.

The babies were released from the hospital just under two weeks, I think. I can't remember! lol The babies and their daddy went to stay with his aunt who is a Pediatrician in MI. Last week they went back home to CA, as his paternity leave is finally over. In fact, tomorrow he goes back to a kindergarten teacher. :)

The MN lawyer for the IP was able to get us a court hearing right away. I don't know about my IP but I think it was an exciting emotional event...especially when the judge declared him the sole and legal parent of the triplets. The court hearing was necessary because in the state of MN the "birth" mother's name is put on the birth certificate. So actually before an actual birth certificate was done, we went to court to have my name taken off of it.

Minnesota doesn't have any real surrogacy laws; so being a surrogate here worked out pretty well.

I can't remember much of the last couple of months about my recovery. I still feel wierd where the incision is. I was super busy with my kids and would tire out easily, but it got better each week. I still take naps. I'm emotionally fine about the triplets, being a surrogate, etc. I think any stress or emotions are everyday things...paying bills, not having enough $$$ to go even having to say NO to bingo :( I think I'm having bingo withdrawal worse then baby blues! For real! lol

I really need to get a job but my little one won't go to school until I've been working my hardest to book catalog shows for my home businesses (Pampered Chef and BeautiControl) (lol, trying to send subliminal messages so you will want to book a caty show and enjoy free stuff! j/k) I've been spending the days working on contacting all my old customers to let them know I'm back to "work." So hoping things will pick up again. I did do a home party for PC a couple weeks ago for a group of CafeMom moms. That was fun as I haven't done one ever...and it wasn't really a real traditional was nice and informal. I liked that very much! Well hopefully in 6 months to a year I can be matched up with another family, so I can just concentrate on my family and being a surrogate again.

It was wierd after the birth of the triplets because it happened so fast. The journey was so long but then "just like that" it was over. I'm not sure if I miss being pregnant. I did enjoy it and would and will do it again! lol I liked that I was surprised with my water breaking...but that was better then having to count the days until the c-section. Oh...and I never packed a bag...meant to. lol I wouldn't have known what to pack anyways...not like I knew when I had my last 4 kids too! :)

I guess its back to my boring life...getting adjusted...getting my body back...losing the extra lbs....oh yeah...and the tummy. OMG it was SO BIG that I'm surprised that its not as bad as I thought it would be... lol

Well hope that answers your questions about how I'm feeling. I will try to post one more time as I still gather up my thoughts.

Enjoy the pics!

Have a great day!
Kerri aka A Surrogate Mom