Tuesday, July 24, 2007

July 24th, 2007 - I've Been Released!

Hi Friends!

Well heard from the fertility clinic. All babies are doing well and so I am now officially released to see my local OB. YEAH....another exciting event in this surrogacy.

Update on the babies: Baby A and Baby B are both measuring 10 weeks and 4 days, while Baby C is measuring 10 weeks. So considering I was 10 weeks and 1 day yesterday when the ultrasound was done, the babies are doing just great. ALSO after talking with the Perinatologist, they do not recommend reduction AT ALL!!! Very very interesting considering all we were told via the agency and their doctor experts! My unprofessional opinion is that it really had to do with the insurance not covering triplets.

There is no doubt about the fact that I am high risk because of triplets but I have faith in my doctors here to advise the IP and me what to do. ALSO Abbott is a highly rated Level 3 hospital, so the surro babies and I will be taken good care of.

I have my first OB appointment at Abbott this Friday morning. Got to cross my fingers that my hubby will be around to drive me there. :) I think if he just drives me once and I know where I'm going, etc, driving my big huge suburban won't be so scary for future apointments! lol Then I will have a genetic counseling and ultrasound in three weeks.

I think the ultrasounds are really neat. Not to mention seeing all three of them! Did I mention that they are all in their own sacs and have their own placentas? That is supposed to be all good!

Dinner at Red Lobster was good. I wasn't so sure how I was feeling before going b/c I got so sick, but I've been laying around so much that I just wanted to get out, as did my friend too....GETTING OUT WITH NO KIDS!!! We met a waitress there that had triplets who are now 16 years old! So that was neat and interesting. She delivered at 29 weeks because her water broke for one of the babies. I think we are hoping to get to 34 weeks which will be January. I have this fear that I will be delivering at 32 weeks which is two days before CHRISTMAS!!! That will be such a bummer to spend Christmas week in the hospital...although....I remember Christmas of 92 I spent at Presby hospital in Dallas, TX when pregnant with my first baby....it was for dehydration b/c I had morning sickness SO BAD! Anyways...it just seems typical of something to go wrong...it will be during the holidays! Right?! lol Well if it does happen over the holidays, the good thing is that my husband's family live here and hopefully they will help hubby entertain the kids.

Well hubby is at softball with our oldest daughter. It is way too hot out there for me to be out there, so he took her. I'm glad b/c I feel guilty and bad when I have to just drop her off and there is no one there to watch her play. LOL Probably b/c my parents NEVER ever went to any games that I ever played in. Oh well...just glad that hubby took her. And the kids are watching a new Veggie Tales movie and the oldest is playing Xbox 360 (of course)...so perfect time to go take a nap!!! :)

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

Monday, July 23, 2007

July 23rd, 2007 - 10 week Ultrasound!

There you go! Baby A, Baby B and Baby C as they have been calling them now. Today was our 10 week ultrasound with the Perinatologist. Baby C is doing fine, measuring a day or two behind Baby A and Baby B. Their explanation of why Baby C's sac is smaller is that the other two babies are taking up the space. Baby C has a good heartbeat and is growing the way it should be for how far along I am. Its just that Baby A and Baby B are bigger. So I guess no worries yet...unless they tell our dr otherwise. I have not heard from the fertility clinic about the results from this ultrasound.
So I have been referred by my local OB to Abbott Perinatology for my pregnancy, and I will assume that my fertility dr will be releasing me to them as well. The only bummer is that I will have to travel to the cities for my appointments. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't drive a Suburban! lol I'm a good driver...just haven't driven in the CITIES in a few years since moving to the country! BUT the good thing is that I'm going to plan my visits so I can bring some good food home! lol We dont have anything good where we live...restaurants and take out that is. :)
OK....I still can not believe I'm carrying Triplets!!! Sometimes I sit here and think WOW. lol AND pray that the morning sickness will go away! Couple of more weeks and it should, right?!
I have been getting really sick lately. My youngest son says its because of all the pooping that the babies are doing in my belly. lol (ok) My youngest daughter sort of understands that there are babies in my belly from the pictures and from time to time she will YELL at my belly...HELLOOOO!!!!
oh...I have to run...my neighbor wants to go to Red Lobster in the Cities...lol....so I'd be crazy to say NO! BBL
Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

July 17th, 2007 - A 2 Year Old with a Scissor

NOT good when she ends up cutting her hair...and its SO noticeable. Thanks to Fantastic Sam's in Cambridge (Tiffany), we were able to salvage her bangs. Will need to use clips on the sides until those hairs grow back! lol Out of 4 children, I can not believe the things that my little 2 year old does sometimes!!! She definately is a keeper!

Well my IP talked with the CEO of NewLifeAgency today. We will be grandfathered in. And while we should be happy about that, the coverage SUCKS. Ok...that is just my personal opinion. Only $50,000 maximum coverage is available, so expenses above and beyond that will be out of his pocket. So praying it won't be too much more then that. Expenses WILL go over $50,000. At least now, the Intended Parent is no longer faced with which of his three babies will have to be reduced.

And I am relieved too not to have to go through it. PLUS I can relax now and concentrate on getting my rest and helping these babies.

BTW maybe I should try to catch up with Michael Moore for an idea for his next documentary movie!!!

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

Monday, July 16, 2007

July 16th, 2007 - WORD OF THE DAY: Perinatology

Rescheduled my 10 week ultrasound with a perinatologist on Monday, when I will be 10 weeks and 1 day. I had to do it down in the cities...well close to it...Coon Rapids. We used to live in Coon Rapids, so I am familiar with the area.

I have been feeling so yukky from the morning sickness. I have the nauseous feeling 24/7 and I've got to learn that if the smell of what I'm making makes me feel SICK, DONT EAT IT!!! When will I learn! lol

Today I got some great things.... from my IP...preggo pops and preggo pop drops to help with the morning sickness!!!! YEAH!!!! I've tried a drop so far. I think I feel better...maybe a nap will help too! lol And from an internet friend, Tina, in my Mom RAK group...a huge bag of Swedish Fish!!! I haven't had them since I was a kid...so that was fun and yummy (no I didn't eat it all...yet). SO THANK YOU!!!! :)

No news on insurance or what my IP is going to do about the triplets. I believe he spoke with a specialist who of course is telling him the dangers I am in for carrying triplets. And like I said....if it was such a danger, why was I medically approved to carry multiples and WHY would the fertility doctor transfer 3 embryos. The fertility doctor even said the first two transfers...are you ready to carry triplets if it happens? And we said YES (and silently praying that it would be twins! lol) So now why would they say otherwise? YOU KNOW they are doing this because the insurance will not cover triplets. I think its wrong to use scare tactics on my IP so he will reduce. Yes, there are risks with multiples...risks that I agreed to from the very beginning. Like I said, I will do what my IP wants to do in the end BUT don't use scare tactics to make him make his decision.

Anyways....nothing new to tell....hopefully when my IP talks to NewLife Agency this week that they can figure something out so he will not have to abort one of his babies.

Off to take a nap while the kids go to the park with their big brother! (Got to love having older kids with younger kids!)

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

Friday, July 13, 2007

July 13th, 2007 - Why did God make stupid people?

People are so quick to judge and make their stupid opinions and they just never get it b/c they don't take the time to understand. They just think they know it all...especially those God loving Christians who can be downright nasty with their judgements and opinions...

I tried to reach out on Cafemom.com and ask for help for my IP and me to help us find suitable surrogate insurance. I have never seen so many mean and nasty women...Christians ones too! Here I am trying to help my IP so he will not have to abort one of his triplets and people are judging me and him! HOW FRICKING STUPID to suggest that he adopt out his babies! We want to help him so he does not have to abort his baby, NOT adopt them out. STUPID PEOPLE. I was asking for help and I got judgements and terrible people wanting to take this man's babies....what a bunch of IDIOTS! I got to laugh at the referrals to WIC (women, infant and children which is an agency set up for nutritional and health concerns) DUMB.

And for the STUPID people who told me to lie to my insurance about the babies.... HOW STUPID IS THAT?! Commit fraud and go to jail? HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE?!

Ok....so contact prolife and similar groups. Ok....that really doesn't do anything. Oh wait...maybe it will give me a right not to have the abortion BUT My IP and I would STILL BE in the same FRICKING situation! NO INSURANCE BECAUSE I AM CARRYING TRIPLETS. STUPID STUPID STUPID!

AND stupid people emailing me to adopt this man's babies....do you not read??? He wants his babies...how many frickin times and ways can I say that??! People waste my time for not reading what I'm asking for or read what they want. URGH!

Stupid people just waste my time and suck up all the good oxygen in our world!

Thanks to the VERY few understanding people on Cafemom. Not all moms might agree with what I am doing and that is their right, but at least they have the maturity and respect about the situation.

Our insurance is through NewLife Agency. They are the ones who announced that surrogates carrying triplets will no longer be covered. So please stop referring them to me. My IP is hoping that NewLife will able to work with us for a better solution. I believe this is the first triplets case since their new policy went into effect March 2007.

My 10 week ultrasound is coming up in a week. Will have to reschedule it in the cities with a Baby Specialist (lol, I don't know how to spell the word for it) to see what is exactly going on with Baby #3. The last ultrasound showed it had improved from the previous one. So we will need to determine how that baby is doing.

My IP talked to the specialist that I was referred to as well. I'm not going to bother talking to her b/c it won't make a difference. She's going to tell me how my life is in danger if I carry the triplets. Well if there was any danger, why the heck would the fertility dr transfer 3 embryos?! I just don't need to hear it. They are paid to talk me into being okay with the abortion.

I am leaving the final decision up to my IP as they are his babies. He knows I do not want a reduction, if the babies are ok (which he agrees with too), but I understand and will comply with what he wants. I do not want to add more stress to him....or me.

It is very frustrating that all this is controlled by insurance policies. Very sad. I did send my story to Fox 9 News and supposed to be talking to them on Monday. I have reservations about it. The reporter wants a copy of my contract which I can NOT do b/c I would be in breach of my contract by doing so. I also do not want to bring the name of the agency I am working with into this. I'm afraid of the negativity for the Agency, as both my IP and I are happy with them. I really do think the public needs to hear my story and the dilemnia we are faced with the insurance. There needs to be something done, if not for me now, but for other Intended Parents and their surrogates in the future. Government needs to realize the need for health insurance for EVERYONE. Will have to take this weekend to think more about things and speak with the reporter on Monday.

Well, time to rest...have a great weekend!
A Surrogate Mom

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

July 12th, 2007 - Happy Birthday, JR!

Today is the birthday of my first born! He is 14 years old! WOW So hard to believe. He is the reason why I have considered becoming a surrogate. I was a 24 year old, single mom when I found out I was pregnant with him. Adoption was not even an option for me considering I was adopted myself. My adopted life sucked...and I wasn't willing to do that to my baby. I am very happy to this day that I stayed strong and raised a great son! Anyways, besides the biological father wanting me to abort, I had many offers of families wanting to adopt my baby. Funny how back then people assumed a single unwed mom shouldn't have her baby! After my son was born, we relocated to MN where we have been ever since. I look back at where I was then and thankful everyday to where I am in my life now....married and with 4 children. My husband adopted my son a month after we were married. :) Since everyone seemed to want my baby, I thought about possibly being a surrogate some day. Why not?

Who would have known...14 years later...here I am...carrying triplets as a gestational surrogate for a single guy.

Unfortunately, my first surrogacy has been a long one with road blocks....luckily my IP has only had to deal with one surrogate...ME....but has gone through 3 Egg donors...and after a year of having been matched, we are finally pregnant. For me, I thought I'd be matched up with my second family by now. So things don't always go the way you hope.

Things with the surrogacy are very stressful this week. When I completed my application, I stated that I would not reduce if I had three babies...I would continue with the pregnancy. The first couple I was matched with wanted to reduce, which was one of the reasons that I did not go with that first couple. My current Intended Parent and I both agreed that if I had triplets, that we would not reduce, unless there was something wrong with one or more of the babies. Reduce is another term for abortion. Just is supposed to sound better. I did not read my contract clearly and the part on Fetal Reduction is different then what I agreed with my Intended Parent. So I have no choice here, I will have to abort one of the triplets before I am 14 weeks. Oh...back up.... in the beginning of 2007, the insurance agency that the Agency uses, stated that they would no longer insure surrogates with triplets. So my Intended parent can not afford the expenses of me to have the Triplets. So basically now, one of the three healthy babies that I am carrying must die within the next 6 weeks....well 5 1/2 weeks. I wonder which baby will it be? Sad, huh?

How sad is that? For me, as the surrogate, I am not at all supportive of aborting one of the babies. While I am pro-choice on abortion, this is not something I would do myself unless there was something bad with one or more of the babies OR if my life was at risk. I admit, I only wanted and want to carry twins, which some have stupidly commented that then I'd be better off with Reduction/Abortion of one of the triplets. HELLO???? I don't think so. It is so wrong to kill a baby for financial reasons. How pathetically stupid is that? My IP acknowledges that we discussed not reducing, but what's he supposed to do now?

I basically have no choice here and will have to have this abortion done. I hope that it is done soon because I will start to feel the babies soon. I have no confidence in my IP or anyone finding surrogate insurance. I have no hope. I am not going to stress myself or my family anymore.

I prayed my hardest for baby #3 to grow and catch up with the other two. It was a miracle....and well look where the miracle took me and the babies. Do you think there will be any more miracles for us? I really have no hope. The Agency must act in the best interest of the IP since the insurance will not cover this. Maybe someone with more strength can pray for a miracle that an Insurance Company will offer insurance for a surrogate with Triplets!

Its been a long journey for me since I applied to be a Surrogate on 01/01/06! This journey has drained me emotionally....2 visits to CA with my husband (away from our kids), and three more trips to CA for 3 embryo transfers, where I had to figure out who would watch my children and make sure that their lives are not disrupted. Each embryo transfer took 4 days away from my children, missing their band concerts, games, etc. Worrying that my baby who sleeps with her mommy isn't wandering around the house looking for me during the night. Me wondering if my plane might crash in the snow storm, etc. Praying that the people caring for my children don't get in a car accident or something. Yes, my trips to CA were fun and all, but its really hard not to worry about my children while I'm gone. I do not like to be away from them...or my husband. Ok...so now...barely into this pregnancy and another problem.... Its starting to take its toll on me. I just want it to be over...the babies be born and this be the end of the journey.

Its hard to be a surrogate. I don't regret it and I will still consider doing it again...sort of....let's see how this ends. I guess what I'm trying to tell you here...it isn't really an easy thing...and on top of that the morning sickness is getting worse!

I think its the anger in me that is making me feel this way. Either way, I look forward to being 14 weeks along because I know then that at that time either one of the babies will be gone OR we will have insurance and 3 babies to look forward to in Feb! I don't want to deal with this.

So if you have the strength for me...pray for a miracle and help me get back on the right path of this journey!

A Surrogate Mom

Monday, July 9, 2007

July 9th, 2007 - 8 week ultrasound

8 week ultrasound done! Baby #1 and #2 (the babies on the right) are measuring on time and both have strong heartbeat rates of 169. You really can't see the baby #2 in the pic...just the sac, but its there. Baby #3 (the baby on the left) is measuring 7 weeks and 5 days, so growing quite well since the last ultrasound 2 weeks ago WITH a strong heartbeat rate of 155. Unfortunately for Baby #3, the gestational sac is not growing like it should but miracles happen...we shall see what happens during the next 2 weeks. It was surprising even to see that Baby #3 had indeed grown and had a strong heartbeat. So Baby #3 is fighting to survive, so I hope you will pray for the baby. The ultrasound pic isn't the greatest but from the monitor I could see all three babies and their heartbeats.
Ok...heard from the dr's nurse. Ultrasound looked good...3 good babies. :) When I asked about baby #3 and the dr's thoughts on whether it will make it or not, they seemed not to want to say anything about it...as they did after the first one. After the first ultrasound the dr commented that the third baby would naturally reduce on its own. I think they must realize that the baby is growing and has a good heartbeat, so they won't tell me what they really think. So hoping that maybe when my CM talks to the dr's office he will find out what they really think.
Hopefully the prayers for baby #3 will continue to help keep baby strong. Next ultrasound in two weeks.
Last night was my last night of progesterone shots. Those shots I had to take every night. The only shot left is the E2V which is done every third night. So I had that shot tonight... I continue the progesterone pills in the am and pm, and the vitamins and estrace pills until I am 10 weeks.
Morning sickness hasn't gotten any better, although I just finished eating some gizzards done on the grill (yummy! lol) and some pasta salad with ham and cheese from Cub foods.... I really liked the salad...got to find out if anyone has their recipe. I've tried similar salads from WalMart and other markets but haven't found one that I liked. Anyways...feeling good after eating...yeah! lol
Well the kids just finished popping some popcorn...time to go watch movies and veg!
Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom