Thursday, November 30, 2006

November 30th, 2006 - It's Over

Hi Everyone!

I am sad to say that they've pulled the plug on this transfer. I guess it was not a heartbeat afterall. Thus since no heartbeat was detected, there is no baby to be. All meds were stopped on Tuesday and we will wait a week for my body to get ready to miscarry. If that does not happen in a week then I will have to find a local OB to go to. In the meantime I'm feeling morning sickness 24/7 but more strongly at night. I guess I hadn't anticipated that and feeling as I do. Emotionally I am ok and don't forsee anything more as a result of ending this pregnancy. It just wasn't meant to be. I know that my IP is hoping for a miracle that baby might be there. It really is a hard decision because both my IP and I still wonder why my levels can be so elevated and there be no heartbeat? The sac is measuring way small and that is not good. The clinic stated that 6 weeks is the mark they use...if no heartbeat is determined at 6 weeks then the process is ended and we get ready for the next transfer. For me, I wish we could have waited until 8 weeks to determine a heartbeat. We are working with a very reputable clinic and I have much confidence in our doctor, so I am ok with the final decision.

So what next? I will hopefully miscarry on my own within the next week. If not, I will go to a local OB for a D&C. Some say that either way a D&C will help for the next transfer. Will have to ask my fertility doctor about that. The clinic says I must have two periods before we begin another transfer.

There are only 4 embryos left, which are also frozen. They are excellent, very good and 2 good. Dr states that when they thaw that there is a possibility that they embryos will not stay together. So I guess that means I could fly out there for the transfer only to find out that the embryos are no good. So my IP is wondering what he should do. Do you get another ED or take a chance. To think that we thought this was going to be a simple easy process.

My concern is that I want to be a surrogate and if these transfer don't work...is it my fault or the embryos? The standard, I believe and as stated in my contract, is to try 3 transfers with the surrogate and then its over. So if it doesn't work, then I can't be a surrogate for anyone? I guess I could talk to my CM about it. Well hopefully it won't come to that. I pray that the next transfer will work for us. I think in previous posts I might have mentioned that my IP told me that we had an increase chance of the transfer taking the second time. Well I think that is incorrect.

So what am I going to do? Well, I think I've gained about 20 lbs since March when I started on birth control pills and hormones. So I am going to work on loosing that weight and then some. I am going to cut out drinking pop...well at least pop with caffeine...and fried foods! I have read that it might help to cut the caffeine and fried foods out. We can't afford junk food at home, so I dont have to worry about that stuff. lol I'm also going to start walking a little bit each day on the treadmill since its way too cold here in MN to even walk out to my suburban! lol Ok...I'm exaggerating but its just not walking weather here!

Anyone watch All My Children (AMC)? I have been watching it for years. Anyways, its interesting to read the homophobic posts on the boards at www.AllMyChildren.com Just goes to show that the community needs to be educated. There were some ridiculous, ignorant posts, such as "for every 1 new GLBT viewer to AMC, they will loose 4 regular AMC viewers." How the heck would they even know that??? Give me a break! Well, its all very interesting and will be interesting on how AMC chooses to go with this issue. While it is really to help AMC ratings, I hope that this will help educate others about the GLBT community.

Here is a link about this:
Daytime TV Character Tackles Transgender Issues
"Zarf" is the first transgender character to grace a soap opera.
http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=2684725

Well that's all I have for today. I need to go get a little nap in before I have to pick up the kids from school.

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

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