June 25th, 2007 - TRIPLETS

To think that I have been so worried since the beta that I was pregnant with just one!!! lol After the ultrasound this morning, I called my IP right away to say what I saw...and then went back to bed...because I've been so yukky from morning sickness and lacking sleep from being anxious for the ultrasound to see how many! So I sleep with my cell phone...just a habit plus it has an alarm on it for wake up. So the Fertility Clinic called and I was in a good sleep so I was probably not saying much...just that you should have the report soon and something about two babies and remember the nurse saying...good twins.... An hour later she calls and says "Honey, did you realize you have triplets?" huh? Oh yeah, I guess you're right. lol

Well one of the babies is measuring a day smaller and the heartbeat is not very strong. So time will tell on what will happen to the baby. There is a slight chance the baby will survive but the dr said to be prepared to miscarry. The other two babies are measuring fine and have strong heartbeats. While I really only want to carry twins, I will pray for the third baby. I'm not sure how it will be to miscarry again. Some probably think it will be better off if I miscarry the third baby which I personally think is a terrible thing to even say to me. The baby is alive right now and has a heartbeat. Give the baby a chance. If that was me, I'd hope that someone would pray for me to live. Yes, I was hoping that 2 out of 3 would take but we knew going into this that all 3 could take. It would have been easier if the baby had not heartbeat when doing the ultrasound. I will have my 8 week ultrasound on July 9th. So maybe we will know the future of the third baby then.

FAQ: Will I carry all three or reduce? No, I will not reduce unless my life was a danger, which it is not. Some surros have been through the reduction and its been no big deal, so others don't seem to understand or realize what goes on..or why I wont consider it. I am pro-choice and will admit that, but personally I don't believe in abortion for myself...on my body. The agency and clinic do not fuss about the reduction and are supportive of it. In our contract, the IP and I discuss the situation before hand...so the decision isn't made when its too late. We both agreed that we would not reduce if there were three babies, even though its more desirable to have two.

Ok...so not that there is nothing wrong with reduction but like I said, its something I do not wish to do myself. I am also going to share what a reduction is, so you may not want to read this now... Most people do not like to refer this as to an abortion but from my opinion there are a lot of similarities....especially the "unwanted baby being terminated." A long needle is injected into the woman's stomach, straight into the unwanted baby's heart. (Its sort of like an amnio, except that needle goes into the fluids NOT the baby). An ultrasound is used to monitor the unwanted baby, so you can see everything that is going on. So this needle goes into the unwanted baby's heart and stays there until there is no heartbeat. The needle is removed and they monitor the baby to make sure its dead. (Sort of scary when you hear about botched up abortions and the baby lives but with deformities.) The baby will then eventually abort or be absorbed by the other babies, or just stay there and be squooshed up by the other babies and come out when the other babies are born. They say if it comes out when the other babies are born, you will not even be able to recognize the baby. Nice, eh?

Also, when you do a reduction....who the heck do you pick? What if you pick the wrong one? Heck, I guess it doesn't matter...you'll never know. Well, I suppose if one doesn't think much of it and not consider the baby is a life or something, it makes it easier to reduce.

With IVF you just never know what will take and what won't. Do you limit your chances? It was such a hard decision after 2 failed transfers. You just never know and if the fertility dr thought all three would have taken, he would have advised otherwise.

Lastly, my dear friends, if you hope I miscarry the 3rd baby, please keep it to yourself. Don't tell me I will be better off. I dont care what studies/research say about carrying triplets because you know I hear from other moms with multiples who did just fine. I think if I was not fit to carry multiples, I never would have been accepted into the surrogacy program. I'M NOT A STATISTIC AND DON'T CARE TO BE REFERRED TO THEM. I would though expect some compassion and concern that this little baby with a heartbeat might not make it...give it a chance. Pray for the baby. These babies are not mine genetically but I am still the birth mom and I really dont want a baby to die in me..even if its considered unwanted. I'm sorry if you can't understand that.

On a happier note here...I am grateful for the two babies that have strong heartbeats and hope that they do well should anything happen to the third baby. I am doing well. I am very tired and rest a lot. Food doesn't seem to agree with me a lot but my daughter has been making me peanut butter sandwiches or ham sandwiches with mustard...and that seems to be agreeing with me. :) The morning sickness has mainly been in the evenings but I have noticed that that the last couple of days I wake up feeling it too. I can't brush my teeth in the morning or I get really sick. I crave fountain p0p....so I've been doing lemonade with a shot of sprite. I can not tell you what an inconvenience it is to these fast food places to do half and half...I could see if it was during the busy times, but usually its late evening that I want it... lol I guess I will just get my exercise by getting out and going into Holiday and pouring my own!

Ok...I have to run now, I just realized we are supposed to be at my son's bball game. BBL

A surrogate mom