July 12th, 2007 - Happy Birthday, JR!

Today is the birthday of my first born! He is 14 years old! WOW So hard to believe. He is the reason why I have considered becoming a surrogate. I was a 24 year old, single mom when I found out I was pregnant with him. Adoption was not even an option for me considering I was adopted myself. My adopted life sucked...and I wasn't willing to do that to my baby. I am very happy to this day that I stayed strong and raised a great son! Anyways, besides the biological father wanting me to abort, I had many offers of families wanting to adopt my baby. Funny how back then people assumed a single unwed mom shouldn't have her baby! After my son was born, we relocated to MN where we have been ever since. I look back at where I was then and thankful everyday to where I am in my life now....married and with 4 children. My husband adopted my son a month after we were married. :) Since everyone seemed to want my baby, I thought about possibly being a surrogate some day. Why not?

Who would have known...14 years later...here I am...carrying triplets as a gestational surrogate for a single guy.

Unfortunately, my first surrogacy has been a long one with road blocks....luckily my IP has only had to deal with one surrogate...ME....but has gone through 3 Egg donors...and after a year of having been matched, we are finally pregnant. For me, I thought I'd be matched up with my second family by now. So things don't always go the way you hope.

Things with the surrogacy are very stressful this week. When I completed my application, I stated that I would not reduce if I had three babies...I would continue with the pregnancy. The first couple I was matched with wanted to reduce, which was one of the reasons that I did not go with that first couple. My current Intended Parent and I both agreed that if I had triplets, that we would not reduce, unless there was something wrong with one or more of the babies. Reduce is another term for abortion. Just is supposed to sound better. I did not read my contract clearly and the part on Fetal Reduction is different then what I agreed with my Intended Parent. So I have no choice here, I will have to abort one of the triplets before I am 14 weeks. Oh...back up.... in the beginning of 2007, the insurance agency that the Agency uses, stated that they would no longer insure surrogates with triplets. So my Intended parent can not afford the expenses of me to have the Triplets. So basically now, one of the three healthy babies that I am carrying must die within the next 6 weeks....well 5 1/2 weeks. I wonder which baby will it be? Sad, huh?

How sad is that? For me, as the surrogate, I am not at all supportive of aborting one of the babies. While I am pro-choice on abortion, this is not something I would do myself unless there was something bad with one or more of the babies OR if my life was at risk. I admit, I only wanted and want to carry twins, which some have stupidly commented that then I'd be better off with Reduction/Abortion of one of the triplets. HELLO???? I don't think so. It is so wrong to kill a baby for financial reasons. How pathetically stupid is that? My IP acknowledges that we discussed not reducing, but what's he supposed to do now?

I basically have no choice here and will have to have this abortion done. I hope that it is done soon because I will start to feel the babies soon. I have no confidence in my IP or anyone finding surrogate insurance. I have no hope. I am not going to stress myself or my family anymore.

I prayed my hardest for baby #3 to grow and catch up with the other two. It was a miracle....and well look where the miracle took me and the babies. Do you think there will be any more miracles for us? I really have no hope. The Agency must act in the best interest of the IP since the insurance will not cover this. Maybe someone with more strength can pray for a miracle that an Insurance Company will offer insurance for a surrogate with Triplets!

Its been a long journey for me since I applied to be a Surrogate on 01/01/06! This journey has drained me emotionally....2 visits to CA with my husband (away from our kids), and three more trips to CA for 3 embryo transfers, where I had to figure out who would watch my children and make sure that their lives are not disrupted. Each embryo transfer took 4 days away from my children, missing their band concerts, games, etc. Worrying that my baby who sleeps with her mommy isn't wandering around the house looking for me during the night. Me wondering if my plane might crash in the snow storm, etc. Praying that the people caring for my children don't get in a car accident or something. Yes, my trips to CA were fun and all, but its really hard not to worry about my children while I'm gone. I do not like to be away from them...or my husband. Ok...so now...barely into this pregnancy and another problem.... Its starting to take its toll on me. I just want it to be over...the babies be born and this be the end of the journey.

Its hard to be a surrogate. I don't regret it and I will still consider doing it again...sort of....let's see how this ends. I guess what I'm trying to tell you here...it isn't really an easy thing...and on top of that the morning sickness is getting worse!

I think its the anger in me that is making me feel this way. Either way, I look forward to being 14 weeks along because I know then that at that time either one of the babies will be gone OR we will have insurance and 3 babies to look forward to in Feb! I don't want to deal with this.

So if you have the strength for me...pray for a miracle and help me get back on the right path of this journey!

Thanks,
A Surrogate Mom