Thank you for all the nice emails. It has been very helpful to hear from other moms who have gone through a miscarriage before.
I am doing fine, as is my IP. I think we've been able to get through this because we pretty much knew in the beginning that it wasn't good, so it was not a surprise. I was told that I would have to miscarry on my own. So that is why we have been able to deal with this. It was the physical part of the miscarriage that was a bit freaky, as I said before. I think what hurt more were some insensitive remarks that I dont feel like most women who miscarry because it was not my baby. HELLO? I sometimes wonder what people are thinking when they say stupid stuff like that. You know...sometimes its just better if you don't say anything at all. While I have no legal rights and biological ties to the baby/babies, I am the birth mother. I help give life to these babies and in the end I will give birth to them. I do have a heart and I feel for these babies whether they are mine or not. I'm just a stronger person in dealing with the loss and I am dealing with it in my way. I'm sharing my feelings and telling it how it is because people shouldn't assume they just know how it is. People can "empathize" with me if they too have suffered a miscarriage, but you can't know what's going on in my head or how I should feel. I know people might mean well but please don't tell me I don't care or don't feel as bad as a woman who looses her biological child.
lol I think this falls along the lines of NEVER EVER ask a woman how far along she is...because knowing your luck...she isn't pregnant!
Well, what next? On Friday I will go see an OB here in town. On Tuesday I am supposed to go in for blood work to check my hcg (the pregnancy hormone) levels. My levels need to be back at zero to begin another transfer. The good thing about the next transfer is that we do not have to coordinate with an ED. Its just me and my cycle. I will also be able to do my own shots! lol I can't remember if I mentioned that I finally was able to do it! It isn't too bad after you get over how LONG the darn needle is. lol Thank goodness for having a nice padded butt! I think that helps! :)
DH hasn't heard back on any of the jobs that he has applied for. Its sort of frustrating because I know he wants a change from what he's doing now. We all are anxious to move...even the kids. My oldest hasn't been happy since we move to this country town two years ago, so he is very willing to move to CA. I sure hope that he is happier then. The other two are excited too and well, the baby doesn't really know.
All I know is that I can't wait to move and be in a home that has a working oven! LOL I sure do miss being able to make snacks and stuff for the kids...or have a nice oven baked meal!
Well, time to call it a day. I've napped quite a bit today but I still feel I could get more sleep!
Thank you again for your support and prayers!
Hugs,
A Surrogate Mom
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