December 31st, 2006 - Happy New Years

Happy New Year to everyone.

I wish you all a healthy, happy, and prosperous 2007!

Hi Everyone!!!

Can not believe a year has gone by since I signed up to be a surrogate!!! I guess it hasn't been that long with my IP since we were only matched last May.

I hope that 2007 is a good year for my family and his....and he will be blessed with a baby or two (or three)!!! LOL I just had to add that last comment b/c I know it will make him laugh when he reads that. Well I pray for two healthy babies for him in 2007! :)

My new years resolution for 2007? LOL I remember my parents used to make us write something every year and I thought it was the stupidest thing to do. That is probably why I never do it now. But like any other day, I'd like to give up drinking pop (mainly the caffeine) and cut out the fried foods. As far as exercise is concerned. I think I should make it a habit to use one of the dusty exercise equipment I have downstairs every morning. :) Forget the walking...this is MINNESOTA!!! No way! Ok...at least not during the cold months! Sure am looking forward to my next trip to LA!!! Its cold, snowy and wet here....hmmm....and my IP is away on vacation where its nice, warm and sunny!!! Lucky him!!! And I thought I was the one to be spoiled here!!! lol j/k

So do I really have a new years resolution? Nope. Do you???

DH, the kids and I are staying home to celebrate the new year. Fun food and munchies and movies!!! Got to love it. :)

Well, time to get back to the family!

Have a wonderful and safe New Years!!!

A Surrogate Mom

December 29th, 2006 - 211

Hi!

It was a long night but I got up at 7 am...warmed up the suburban and went to the hospital for the second time this week to have a beta test. My little 2 yr old had the sickies and so I had to bathe her, change the sheets, wash the sheets, make the bed in the middle of the night. Why is it that her daddy can sleep through her sobs and stuff. He had no clue that she had been sick and I was up with her, as it lasted a few hours. Since I was still up at 5 am, I made his coffee as he was getting up for work then. The dork thought I just got home from bingo and the casino!!! (I actually got home at 11 pm, thank you!) Anyways, my little girl is ok. I think her daddy and big brother gave her a little bit too much pop, juice and cookies...all the stuff I don't like her to have. Well the juice is ok, but in moderation.

So, my hcg level is at 211 today. Not good. The fertility nurse says its either a chemical pregnancy or tissue still left from the miscarriage. Nevertheless I have been referred to my local ob to decide if a d & c needs to be done or a shot of Methotri.....something lol If I was local to the fertility clinic then they would have opted for the shot. I spoke with the local ob nurse and told her that I've had enough of the beta tests. I want it to be over. The lab insists on taking the blood from my right arm and its just sore. You can even see the marks from previous draws! I dont think I want the shot which will help to zero out the hcg because it means continue trips to the lab. Just want the d & c done so we can get on with our lives and begin a new transfer.

There are so many pros and cons of the d & c. At this point, I have still been bleeding on and off since the miscarriage...somedays more so then others...like its never going to end. Basically, as I have been saying, I have had enough...do the d & c. When I talked to my local OB on yesterday, he had stated that if the numbers didn't go down significantly that was an option.

So I have an appt to see him on Wed to discuss the next step. Sure looking forward to it!

BTW, I won at Bingo last night. Shannon and I decided to check out bingo at the casino (www.GrandCasinoMN.com) and what a blast! Of course we split the winnings and played the slots for a few hours! Can't beat a free night of Bingo and slots! Just love it! They have a non-smoking section too which is great...so I will be able to play there when I am preggo!!!

Well I got to run now. Have a great day!

Hugs,
A Surrogate Mom

December 28th, 2006 - 220

Hope you all had a nice Christmas. Ours was nice. Saturday at DH's parents house was bearable and no drama!!! What's up with that?! LOL The kids had a great time. Santa didn't come to the Knack house this year...and you can bet he will NEVER forget again! lol DH's parents never did the Christmas stocking thing and its been an issue forever and since DH controls the checkbook...there was no Santa. BUT on Christmas eve the kids were excited to hang their stockings and DH never felt so bad!!! Serves him right! Well they seemed to get over it with our explanation that Santa gave us $$$ so we could get everything on their Christmas list! And so they did. :) Anyways...can't believe his parents didn't do stockings! wow

Ok...so Tuesday I had another beta test done. 220 (it was 228 last Tuesday). So my fertility dr is having me tested tomorrow. If its not gone down, then they will give me an injection. I wonder WHO will be doing that since they are in LA and I'm here. My OB called today and he said to come in Tuesday, get tested and if not better then they will consider a D & C now. I was so tired that I didn't remember to mention that my fertility dr was going to do something tomorrow. Either way, I hope something is done SOON because I really am getting tired of the waiting. I want something to be done so I can start getting ready for a second transfer. Its been almost a year and its frustrating...LOL and the only thing happening is that I'm getting older!

I know I know. PATIENCE! Well I bet my IP is anxious and tired of waiting...lol...you just don't know it.

Well just got home from playing Bingo at the Casino and then some slots. lol I won in Bingo so it paid for my night and then some. That's the way to do it! Better get some sleep. Will let you know what happens tomorrow.

HUGS,
A Surrogate Mom

December 28th, 2006 - 220

Hope you all had a nice Christmas. Ours was nice. Saturday at DH's parents house was bearable and no drama!!! What's up with that?! LOL The kids had a great time.

Ok...so Tuesday I had another beta test done. 220 (it was 228 last Tuesday). So my fertility dr is having me tested tomorrow. If its not gone down, then they will give me an injection. I wonder WHO will be doing that since they are in LA and I'm here. My OB called today and he said to come in Tuesday, get tested and if not better then they will consider a D & C now. I was so tired that I didn't remember to mention that my fertility dr was going to do something tomorrow. Either way, I hope something is done SOON because I really am getting tired of the waiting. I want something to be done so I can start getting ready for a second transfer. Its been almost a year and its frustrating...LOL and the only thing happening is that I'm getting older!

I know I know. PATIENCE! Well I bet my IP is anxious and tired of waiting...lol...you just don't know it.

Well just got home from playing Bingo at the Casino and then some slots. lol I won in Bingo so it paid for my night and then some. That's the way to do it! Better get some sleep. Will let you know what happens tomorrow.

HUGS,
A Surrogate Mom

December 22nd, 2006 - 228

Ok. I spoke with the nurse from my local OB. My score was 228. It was not a significant decrease as hoped for. Stated that I will retest at 8 am on Tuesday, Dec 26th. Local OB made an order in addition to my fertility dr's order, as we have been having problems getting the final report sent to my dr. YES, frustrating! OH and I finally remembered to ask my fertility clinic to state on the order that I could call in for the test results. So at least if they don't send the report STAT as stated, I will know the numbers and can report verbally.

The good news... DH and I decided to move back to the cities until he can secure a good job in CA. Moving back will make him closer to his job plus I will go back to the OB clinic that I used to go to PLUS deliver in the hospital that I had my last two children in. UNLESS, of course, DH finds a job in CA and we move out there. :) Now if only I could get preggo!!! lol

Good news about DH's job. While work will probably cut back because of the holidays, the guy above DH is retiring today and they are not replacing him. So hopefully this will mean DH will be working more hours. OMG that would be awesome because I really can't enjoy being a SAHM when he's here with me during the day!!! lol

Well the kids are in school and the baby is with my friend this morning. Its nice and I'm getting some stuff done here...yeah!!! So breaktime over. :)

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

December 20th, 2006 - Five Days Until Christmas

Happy Holidays!!

Had my blood test on Tuesday (yesterday) and my hcg levels are going down. I can't remember what they said my level was but for the sake of having a number, lets just say 224. So its gone down some but not a big drop since last Tuesday. The clinic hasn't told me much about what they think but that I will be tested again next Tuesday and they will let me know more then. Ok, even though its quite frustrating. I don't see why they just don't do something to make all the hcg go away. lol Too simple probably? lol

Well I hope next Tuesday will bring better news.

Some of my other surro mom friends have gone in for their transfers and gotten preggo on the first time, so its making me feel bad that I didn't get preggo the first time. I think I feel a little jealous...feeling like everyone else is luckier then me. This waiting makes me feel like I'm in a rut or something. There's nothing that I can do right now to help this surrogacy along and I feel like I should be doing something. I just can't wait until we have some hope for a new transfer.

I'm not too much in the Holiday mood, so I will be happy when its over. The kids are excited plus looking forward to seeing their grandparents on Saturday. I wouldn't mind it but DH's family are huge chain smokers. I wish I could say I was preggo and couldn't be around second hand smoke. They are RUDE SMOKERS too. They don't care if you are still eating...they light up their ciggys. Thank goodness DH has quit!!!! Its nice to not smell of SMOKE!!!

Well, 5 days left until Christmas. DH will do the shopping for the kids on Friday...payday! I always buy stupid crap...so I leave all that to him. :) Less stress that way. lol

We will be up late Christmas Eve because "Santa" will fill the children's stockings and put up the Christmas tree! That's what he's done the last 8 years because then the little ones and the dog(s) didn't get into the tree and presents. Since our little one is just 2, we will carry the tradition on another year or two.

Hope all is well with you and you survive this holiday healthy, happy and ??? warm? lol Loss of words there!

Night,
A Surrogate Mom

December 13th, 2006 - 284

That's my HCG level as of yesterday, 284. Will have to have another test done next Tuesday. My level needs to get back to zero. Once at Zero, the fertility dr, IP and I will discuss the plan for our second transfer. So its the waiting game again, and you KNOW how I do with "waiting!" lol

Thank you to the wonderful thoughtful emails to my post on Dec 6th. I do realize that miscarrying the baby was not my fault and things do happen for a reason. I think its only natural to have thoughts as I did in situations like that but I do know that it wasn't something that I did or didn't do. Whether its a planned miscarriage or not, it truly is a heartbreaking ordeal for all those involved to have to go through. And I hope that anyone going through this has a good support system to get you through this, or at least know that there are many resources out there for support.

Thank you again for the support to get through this and for sharing your stories. My heart goes out to the women who have tried so hard to get pregnant. If I had more years, I would try to help as many people (men and/or women) to have babies that can't.

My journey as a surrogate has been long so far and we are only getting started!

A Surrogate Mom

December 13th, 2006 - Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.

Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,

and they're always glad you came.

You wanna be where you can see,

our troubles are all the same

You wanna be where everybody knows

Your name.

You wanna go where people know,

people are all the same,

You wanna go where everybody knows your name.

Lately I have been feeling like "Norm" when I go out to play Bar Bingo at the various different country bars...you know...where ever the coverall jackpots are big! lol Every night and day there is some type of bar Bingo to go to...but I've been hitting the ones on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (if no church, lol...great alternative to church), Thursday and sometimes Friday! At first I thought it was a gambling addiction but I really can say that it isn't because I don't have the finances to support a gambling addiction! I've been pretty lucky to win big at this Bingo stuff and then I can play for days off the winnings! After being home all day with the kids, its a nice break to get away...of course we only go when its a big pot...so its not all the time...just seems like it. lol Anyways...I don't have a gambling addiction and I can say NO without any problems...so far (lol). J/K, really...no addiction. I just like to go and be around friends. PS...I also do not smoke or drink.

But let's get back to "Norm." Sunday was the Christmas pageant at the church I have been a member of for just over 2 years. The first two years, I went religiously every Sunday and was there every Wednesday to help out with Logos and Confirmation...and nursery for Alpha on Sunday nights and basically whenever I was asked to help out. I've sort of lost interest in going every Sunday because I just can't help but feel like an outsider...in my own church! I "know" a lot of people at church. I KNOW they "know" who I am. Ok...back to Sunday...so I got there an hour early b/c I have learned in past years that you have to if you want to sit up front and see the kids. So I'm sitting in the third row from the front on the right. When I arrived, there were people in the first three rows on the left that I know from church and our children's schools...I smiled towards them and ok...its not like they invited me to sit with them...although they did invite another family who we "know" to sit closer to them... they did the "look the other way" thing...whether it was intentional or not...it happened. So I sat by myself, across the aisle from this group. No one said anything to me. I had the entire pew row to myself.

It gets better, mind you. The entire church FILLS UP and I'm still the only one in the darn pew!!! Ok...I might be a little fat b/c of having babies, but I'm not ugly. I am a nice person and never had bad words with anyone at church or the school. Oh...and I don't smell, and well I was wearing jeans and a fleece pullover from College. People NORMALLY will fill in the empty spots up front, KWIM? But not the pew I was sitting in. I was far from being a stranger. I'm not the type of person to brag about myself or talk about other people. I have a home business but I don't ever bother anyone about it...you know...to buy something or have a party. So no reason to avoid me, that I can think of. So why was it that I sat all by myself in this pew....third row from the front???

Well the pew in front of me was getting packed by this one family and they tried to squeeze 2 more adults in but just couldn't do it. lol The two eventually sat on the other end of the pew that I was in. After the program started, an older couple like my parents age, sat in the middle of the pew finally. It just was amusing to say the least.

So where does "Norm" come in? Well, last night I went to Bar Bingo in a town 14 miles from here...a town I dont know anyone but knew that the jackpot was $1500. I walk in there not knowing anyone but everyone sitting around the bars and the few tables who recognized me said "HI (and my name)" WOW am I in Church? Oh, wait its a BAR! I realized that there were people who I've seen at other places but didn't know, greeted me as well. I also realized that some people who said my name I didn't know and they knew it. So I was introduced to them by other people sitting next to them that knew me. I was introduced to another couple who I've seen but never knew their name. So now I realize why I have been at the bars more frequently...the people I meet at these different bars have taken the time to just say HI, have some nice conversation, as well as to invite me to other things happening around town...just like any good friends would do. Not once in the two years at my church has anyone asked me to do something with them or "hey, lets get together with the kids" and actually do it.

Trust me, I have gone out of my way to participate/volunteer in church to get to know the other members...even invited them to do things, etc. No one has ever called me. (LOL, doesn't that sound pathetically sad???) My kids and I...or just myself, will walk into church events and look for a place to sit and not once has anyone invited us/me to sit with them. I would really think something was wrong with me but its just a church thing...I'm not liked in God's House...well this particular one...but I can walk into a bar, of all places, and feel like NORM "where everyone knows your name."

Church and God are important to me. I just choose not to flaunt it like some people who need to remind us they are Christians, etc I find that some people (my bar friends) feel that church is a clique of people and its about donating our money. When I first attended this church, I loved it because the sermons were uplifting and I could relate in many ways. The sermons set me up for the week of the things I needed to be more aware of, things I need to work on changing in my life, how I can help others, how I can do more for my family and for God. I didn't care about how many friends I made, etc. The people were nice and are nice. They just aren't very open to letting outsiders in...its just so hard to break into their circles. Maybe they don't realize it, but I wish they would. Yes, one of the great things about our church is that the senior pastor plays the drums during our services sometimes. I think that is kewl. Church can and should be a great place for everyone to come together, but sadly I don't see that happening.

I just love the lyrics to the Cheer's theme song. Its so fitting for my life...for my life with my husband and kids...for my husband. Well, in the end, I know its not just me and my life doesn't just revolve around me making friends at church. I've dwelled on it and now its time to move on. I am looking forward to moving with my family to begin a new adventure in our lives, meet new people, get to know another part of the world and to see what our future brings.

Have a wonderful day!

A Surrogate Mom

December 10th, 2006 - Happy Sunday

Hi Everyone!

It's so nice and warm here in Minnesota! Unbelievable! Nice to know when we go to the Christmas program at church in couple of hours, we won't be freezing ourselves to get there!

I am doing well. With it being somewhat warm here, I've been out in the garage decluttering and getting rid of things to sell at the flea market. DH got rid of his Vikings Shrine/Memorabilia stuff. Wonder if that stuff will sell as the Vikings somewhat SUCK this season. lol I'm slowly getting rid of all the material things that I have collected and done nothing with. I was thinking that when we get to CA and find a permanent home, I will start collecting new things! (Oh great! lol)

Went to see a local OB on Friday. No internal exam, thank goodness. Too late for a D & C. Will wait until Tuesday when I have my hcg levels tested. If the numbers are elevated then a D & C might be required but do not anticipate that at all. I am pretty confident that my body has cleansed itself from this. I will be happy when my HCG levels are zero so we can begin again. Keep forgetting to ask if this miscarry would be considered my first period or not. LOL will make my IP remember to ask!

Nothing much more to report. Pretty boring right now in my life. Hoping that things go well that we can plan another transfer fairly quickly. Wish us luck!

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

December 6th, 2006 - Something I forgot to say....

One of the feelings that I have about this miscarriage is what went wrong? What did I do? Did the sushi I ate effect this? I crave Coke Cola, which I limit to one a day...did the caffeine effect this? What can I do in the future to make the transfer work, etc. Or if it wasn't me...what about the embryos?

Unfortunately my doctor hasn't said anything. I just wish there was an answer. KWIM?

Before this, I've had 4 easy pregnancies, no abortions, no miscarriages. All 4 healthy babies. So it makes you wonder why this did not take. Its frustrating to know that the surrogates that I've met in the past year got pregnant the first try...so, ok...why not me? Then I do know a few others who didn't get pregnant until the 2nd or 3rd try. Ok...well I hope it works the 2nd time because I'm going to start stressing too much!

Well, will work on getting myself all better to begin for a second transfer!

Night,
A Surrogate Mom

December 6th, 2006 - Thank You!

Thank you for all the nice emails. It has been very helpful to hear from other moms who have gone through a miscarriage before.

I am doing fine, as is my IP. I think we've been able to get through this because we pretty much knew in the beginning that it wasn't good, so it was not a surprise. I was told that I would have to miscarry on my own. So that is why we have been able to deal with this. It was the physical part of the miscarriage that was a bit freaky, as I said before. I think what hurt more were some insensitive remarks that I dont feel like most women who miscarry because it was not my baby. HELLO? I sometimes wonder what people are thinking when they say stupid stuff like that. You know...sometimes its just better if you don't say anything at all. While I have no legal rights and biological ties to the baby/babies, I am the birth mother. I help give life to these babies and in the end I will give birth to them. I do have a heart and I feel for these babies whether they are mine or not. I'm just a stronger person in dealing with the loss and I am dealing with it in my way. I'm sharing my feelings and telling it how it is because people shouldn't assume they just know how it is. People can "empathize" with me if they too have suffered a miscarriage, but you can't know what's going on in my head or how I should feel. I know people might mean well but please don't tell me I don't care or don't feel as bad as a woman who looses her biological child.

lol I think this falls along the lines of NEVER EVER ask a woman how far along she is...because knowing your luck...she isn't pregnant!

Well, what next? On Friday I will go see an OB here in town. On Tuesday I am supposed to go in for blood work to check my hcg (the pregnancy hormone) levels. My levels need to be back at zero to begin another transfer. The good thing about the next transfer is that we do not have to coordinate with an ED. Its just me and my cycle. I will also be able to do my own shots! lol I can't remember if I mentioned that I finally was able to do it! It isn't too bad after you get over how LONG the darn needle is. lol Thank goodness for having a nice padded butt! I think that helps! :)

DH hasn't heard back on any of the jobs that he has applied for. Its sort of frustrating because I know he wants a change from what he's doing now. We all are anxious to move...even the kids. My oldest hasn't been happy since we move to this country town two years ago, so he is very willing to move to CA. I sure hope that he is happier then. The other two are excited too and well, the baby doesn't really know.

All I know is that I can't wait to move and be in a home that has a working oven! LOL I sure do miss being able to make snacks and stuff for the kids...or have a nice oven baked meal!

Well, time to call it a day. I've napped quite a bit today but I still feel I could get more sleep!

Thank you again for your support and prayers!
Hugs,
A Surrogate Mom

December 4th, 2006 - The Next Day

Hi!

Well I can safely say its over now. I miscarried yesterday and what a mess! I've never miscarried before so the sight of all the blood sort of freaked me out. Otherwise I am ok. I can't believe all there was and I think I am going to insist that I have a D & C done...mostly because it was gross and I really want to make sure its all out. I had to use a plunger in the tub! Unbelievable. I just thought it wouldn't stop. Emotionally, I am ok with how things turned out.

Today I feel ok. The nasea (sp?) has gone, so thats good. I was only about 7-8 weeks along and the baby hadn't grown. So I'm glad we were not further along when this happened. I think had I been further along it would have been tougher to deal with. I'm still somewhat tired, emotionally and physically...some of it too is DH's final decision to relocate our family to CA. It would be great if DH could find a job pretty quickly so that we'd be in CA by the time of the next transfer. Now that would be nice.

I didn't hear from the clinic today which is strange, as they usually return my calls. hmmmm DH just said they called after I left for Bingo tonight. lol

Well, its late and the little one is getting into my mess on my desk, so its time to call it a day.

Have a good week!
A Surrogate Mom

December 2nd, 2006 - IF My Kids Can Whine, So Can I!!!

Woke up today feeling just miserable. Definate case of morning sickness. The kids ate all the darn crackers in the house, so nothing to make me feel better! Had to get my daughter to basketball by 9 am and wait there until she was done. Drove down to the cities to put $15 on the CC just so my oldest could play Final Fantasy on XBox 360! Was so happy to be back so I could take a nap and not feel nausea. You'd think after four kids that I'd get used to the feeling. lol The nap helped although I missed out going to Bingo with my neighbor. :(

I think my body is getting ready to miscarry as I noticed I started to spot again. I'm having cramping too. So hopefully once this happens, I will feel better. I really haven't wanted to do much lately.

Ok...I really don't have much to whine about other then feeling yukky. But one last thing...it drives me crazy how "rude" and "tacky" people can be. People that don't even know I'm doing this surrogacy will pat my stomach and ask me how far along. Hello, you idiot, I'm just fat! Why do people do that? Its not that I'm terribly fat...I do have my belly from having my last baby....um...two years ago. If you don't know a person is pregnant or not, then don't say anything....because its probably none of your business. lol ok...I'm done with that subject!

I just realized that my darling husband went and got some groceries...got me my own box of saltines and a ton of tv dinners so I wouldn't have to cook. I suppose it would be rude of me to tell him that the idea of having tv dinners makes my stomach turn! I wish it wasn't so cold out or I'd go to the grocery store. lol Got to love it that he tried!

Well, I'm off to pick up the house a bit and maybe take an evening nap or something. lol

Have a great weekend!
A Surrogate Mom

November 30th, 2006 - It's Over

Hi Everyone!

I am sad to say that they've pulled the plug on this transfer. I guess it was not a heartbeat afterall. Thus since no heartbeat was detected, there is no baby to be. All meds were stopped on Tuesday and we will wait a week for my body to get ready to miscarry. If that does not happen in a week then I will have to find a local OB to go to. In the meantime I'm feeling morning sickness 24/7 but more strongly at night. I guess I hadn't anticipated that and feeling as I do. Emotionally I am ok and don't forsee anything more as a result of ending this pregnancy. It just wasn't meant to be. I know that my IP is hoping for a miracle that baby might be there. It really is a hard decision because both my IP and I still wonder why my levels can be so elevated and there be no heartbeat? The sac is measuring way small and that is not good. The clinic stated that 6 weeks is the mark they use...if no heartbeat is determined at 6 weeks then the process is ended and we get ready for the next transfer. For me, I wish we could have waited until 8 weeks to determine a heartbeat. We are working with a very reputable clinic and I have much confidence in our doctor, so I am ok with the final decision.

So what next? I will hopefully miscarry on my own within the next week. If not, I will go to a local OB for a D&C. Some say that either way a D&C will help for the next transfer. Will have to ask my fertility doctor about that. The clinic says I must have two periods before we begin another transfer.

There are only 4 embryos left, which are also frozen. They are excellent, very good and 2 good. Dr states that when they thaw that there is a possibility that they embryos will not stay together. So I guess that means I could fly out there for the transfer only to find out that the embryos are no good. So my IP is wondering what he should do. Do you get another ED or take a chance. To think that we thought this was going to be a simple easy process.

My concern is that I want to be a surrogate and if these transfer don't work...is it my fault or the embryos? The standard, I believe and as stated in my contract, is to try 3 transfers with the surrogate and then its over. So if it doesn't work, then I can't be a surrogate for anyone? I guess I could talk to my CM about it. Well hopefully it won't come to that. I pray that the next transfer will work for us. I think in previous posts I might have mentioned that my IP told me that we had an increase chance of the transfer taking the second time. Well I think that is incorrect.

So what am I going to do? Well, I think I've gained about 20 lbs since March when I started on birth control pills and hormones. So I am going to work on loosing that weight and then some. I am going to cut out drinking pop...well at least pop with caffeine...and fried foods! I have read that it might help to cut the caffeine and fried foods out. We can't afford junk food at home, so I dont have to worry about that stuff. lol I'm also going to start walking a little bit each day on the treadmill since its way too cold here in MN to even walk out to my suburban! lol Ok...I'm exaggerating but its just not walking weather here!

Anyone watch All My Children (AMC)? I have been watching it for years. Anyways, its interesting to read the homophobic posts on the boards at www.AllMyChildren.com Just goes to show that the community needs to be educated. There were some ridiculous, ignorant posts, such as "for every 1 new GLBT viewer to AMC, they will loose 4 regular AMC viewers." How the heck would they even know that??? Give me a break! Well, its all very interesting and will be interesting on how AMC chooses to go with this issue. While it is really to help AMC ratings, I hope that this will help educate others about the GLBT community.

Here is a link about this:
Daytime TV Character Tackles Transgender Issues
"Zarf" is the first transgender character to grace a soap opera.
http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=2684725

Well that's all I have for today. I need to go get a little nap in before I have to pick up the kids from school.

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

November 28th, 2006 - Do You Believe In Miracles?

Hi!

Had my ultrasound today. Was able to see the yolk sac a little better then 4 days ago. Possible view of some fetal pull...hmmm...no clue what that means but I think that's good. Heartbeat was very very hard to see between the pulsing of the blood vessels, but pretty sure there was a heartbeat. Must wait for the radiologist to review the pics and contact the clinic with the results. I will probably be having more ultrasounds in the days to come, as well as another beta test to see where my levels are at...but will have to wait to hear from the clinic.

I still feel we won't see anything real good until around 8 weeks. Just my opinion from having 4 of my own children.

Well I hope that we will find out that the transfer did take and we will have a baby. Its been a pretty stressful few weeks not knowing...still not knowing. I am more hopeful though...ok...today I am. :)

Thank you to my IP for the beautiful silver angel charm. Got it on my surrogate charm bracelet! What a nice surprise!!! Love it!!!

Well, my husband came home from work today...early...so early, my baby and I were still snoozing on the couch...our morning ritual after the other 3 kids leave for school! (That's the joy of being a SAHM!) He's bummed and irritated with his job...while its a great job that he's had for a few years, they just can't seem to give him the hours and jobs are cancelling left and right. And well...its really hard on us when we have only his income to depend on. I feel bad for him because I know how much this stresses him. We had talked this past summer about just packing up the kids and moving somewhere to begin a new life for us. Then his job offered a job change/promotion, which seems to have fizzled out and never happened. So dh has decided to go back to his job search in/around Temecula, CA. I am hoping that he finds something that will make him happy...and busy.

The thought of moving to CA is exciting and hope that this time it can really work out. I know too that this would be such a plus for my IP since he lives in CA. And if moving to CA doesn't find happiness for DH, we can always move back to MN.

Well, that's it for now. Must get some things done before I pick up the kids from school.

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

November 27th, 2006 - It's Monday!!!

Well, I'm not sure what to make of this but my HCG level was elevated (15,000) which has the doctor surprised after Friday's ultrasound results. The dr said it wasn't looking good and it was time to stop...but not until we check my levels. Well, surprise, surprise. Not getting my hopes up too much. I do not have any good feelings on how I think this might go. So guess we will just have to continue to wait and see! I can't help but wonder if there is a problem with the baby. I hope not. I do hope that I'm pregnant! Heck, I'll even give up my hopes on having twins...just having ONE baby will be happy news!!!

Tomorrow I am to have an ultrasound to see if they can see a heartbeat. It will be 4 days since the last and I wonder if it will even be there yet. I hope so. In my experience, my ob has done my ultrasounds at 8 weeks to determine heartbeats and number of babies. I was 6.4 weeks along as of last Friday.

Well waiting to hear back from radiology about an appointment for tomorrow. They haven't received the fax and they are all booked tomorrow. So they will have to get back to me.

:) Until tomorrow!

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

November 25th - 2006 - A month until Christmas!!!

I had my ultrasound yesterday. Results aren't good and on Monday I will have a beta test to see if there is a change in my levels. This will be the last step before we stop all meds and get ready for another transfer. Since there is a sac, they just want to make sure there is no baby before they stop this. I am at 6.4 weeks and the sac is too small and there is no heartbeat. Its not looking good and there really isn't hope left that this transfer worked.

I will have to ask them if they can tell why the transfer did not take.

So will hope that Monday we can move on and start a new cycle for the next transfer. I hope that we can get the transfer in before Christmas as the clinic shuts down for the Holidays.

Wish I had better news but will continue positive thoughts towards a successful transfer soon!

Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving holiday!
One month to Christmas!!! :)

Hugs,
A Surrogate Mom

November 18th, 2006 - WHAT'S GOING ON????

Where does time go? Have you been wondering what the heck has been going on with me??? Its been a stressful 3 weeks for me.

November 5th - Had my first beta test and the results were disappointing. 31

November 7th - had my second beta test and not much of improvement: 64

Anything over 100 for my first beta test would have been a good pregnancy. Dr said the numbers were very bad and didn't look good...but anything could happen...so there is hope.

My third beta test was 229...ok getting better but not a very strong pregnancy. URGH ok...so am I pregnant or not? They say I'm pregnant but a good pregnancy, no. BUT I have to go for a 4th Beta test now. Well the 4th beta test is 1093. So now I'm confused.

Ultrasound was done yesterday. I am just over 5 weeks along. The tech did not make me feel confident about the entire procedure. I am schedule for another ultrasound on November 24th. Anyways, one sac was found, no heartbeat. It was really early to see anything. Was lucky to see the one sac. The nurse from the clinic says that it is measuring smaller then it should be, but didn't say if that is good or bad. I figure its not good if its too small.

Its so frustrating for me and I doubt anyone can understand that or the feelings I have. So easy for them to say relax and time will tell. Yeah, well thats easy to say but it would be nice to know "yes" you are pregnant and "yes" everything will be ok.

I do hope that the next ultrasound will bring miracles and we find out that at least one of the three embryos took. If this transfer did not take, then all fertility drugs stop and we wait for my period. Once I get my period, then we will begin working towards a new transfer...but I hope that the ultrasound on Friday will bring us good news.

Well, despite the stress and waiting phase, I am doing well. I am healthy. Have not caught the colds that the kids have picked up from school. I still have headaches from time to time, but not as severe and frequently as in the beginning. Guess that means my body is getting used to the drugs.

I had a little stress today. Realized that while I might have a lot of shots in my bag, that doesn't mean I have enough meds! Since I have another person giving me the shots, I didn't realize I had enough for one more shot after last night! I won't be able to get more overnighted to me until Tuesday! Luckily I have enough of the pills that I can double up on until I can get more meds for my shots. Ok...good thing...this means that I dont have shots again until Tuesday! lol a little break for me!

Well, I hope that gets your caught up with where I am. :) Got my fingers crossed for better news next Friday!

Have a great week!
A Surrogate Mom

October 30th, 2006 - My Baby Turned 2 Today

WOW...time flies...and 6 days until Beta Day! lol

Had a nice uneventful day with my baby, as the kids were in school all day. We just laid around...Ok, I did, while I watched my baby play.

I did buy a box of Early Response EPT for early detection...comes with 3 tests! Will wait until Thursday to try one. :) These were recommended by other surros. I know that it might not work before the beta but it can't hurt to peek right?

ANyways, took the kids out for dinner to celebrate baby's 2nd birthday. Went to their favorite Chinese buffet place. The staff made a special cake plate with for baby and put a candle in it...and sang her happy birthday. Classic look from baby....what the heck are you doing, as she backed away. lol It was cute...as well as nice of the place.

And ended the day by getting my shot from my church friend.

A surrogate mom

October 28th, 2006 - Is It Time Yet?

LOL wish it was time for the beta test. But it was time for the kids and I to go back to MN. We missed home, but it was sad to go. The first thing my son said on the plane...I miss (IP). The kids had such a great time in CA with my IP and his sis and BIL.

I forgot to mention.... IP's BIL has an xbox 360 and so my son was in heaven b/c at home he can not touch his dad's 360 or his older bro 360! So the kids got to play the 360 during this trip.

AND the shots...I couldn't do it...couldnt give them to myself! Luckily, IP's sister was daring enough to do them for me. My husband had to do them for me tonight because we got back home at 11 pm! Too late to get someone to do it. He survived it...as did I. Will continue to have the gal from church do the injections for me. :)

Well...I guess nothing else to report. Guess its just another waiting game until the next step. My baby turns 2 on Monday, Halloween is on Tuesday, kids church activities on Wednesday, children well check ups and Annual Lutefisk dinner on Thursday, and then...Beta Test on Nov 5th!!!

I'm exhausted...back to get some rest!

A Surrogate Mom

October 27th, 2006 - The Day After The Transfer

Well, technically bedrest ended at 8 pm PST time. Its hard being a mom and lay around doing nothing. My IP is pampering and spoiling me...with food. Its sort of like when you overfeed the gold fish and then they are floating on top of the water!!! lol j/k I know I have eaten such great food but by the end of the day, I was so full of food that I couldn't even eat a S'More that the kids made for me...I was like...TAKE IT AWAY! lol I'm not complaining b/c I loved every bit of food I had...so yummy!

It is very nice for me to have stayed at my IP's house rather then at the hotel by myself. I really think that the agency should consider having the surros have a spouse or friend come with them to the transfer, rather then be alone. I guess that's why I wanted my daughter to be there with me. I do know of some surros who's IPs have suggested bringing their spouses along. So maybe just having that option. I know my husband could not have gone because he stayed home and cared for our other 2 kids.

I also like that my IP was able to be here for the transfer, as I know that IPs can not always attend.

Talked with my IP about the ultrasound. Doc likes to do them before releasing surros to their own ob's but for those who live far, just have them done locally to them. We like Doc so IP will have me fly out there for the ultrasound. It will be a quick trip but, personally, I feel my IP will appreciate seeing the ultrasound live. I know when I saw the heartbeat of my first baby, it was exciting, facinating...and made it real for me. I know it will be like that for my IP too.

Well...another day closer to Nov 5th!

A Surrogate Mom

October 26th, 2006 - The Transfer!!!

Finally the day has come and gone! It was a quick procedure and a long day of resting. From 16 great looking follicles, came 25 eggs....and in the end 9 embryos. What a neat process. Seeing pictures of the embryos was even neater. IP choose 3....2 excellent and 1 very good....and crossing our fingers for TWINS!!!! very low chance of triplets...8% chance, I think.

The procedure, as I said, was very quick...and not painful at all. Its bedrest for 36 hours and continue with my injections until further notice. Interesting...I am considered 2 gestational weeks along now. On November 5th I will have my beta test to confirm pregnancy and if negative, then will be redone on Nov 7th. If it is positive, then an ultrasound will be done to confirm the heartbeats. And the estimated due date: July 17th, 2007!!! WOW Doc says that on the 8th day after the transfer we should know but they do the beta test on the 10th day to be accurate. hmmm....not sure I can wait until the 5th! lol

WOW....to think I have three embryos in me...its sort of wierd while at the same time, quite exciting. I sure hope they take. :)

The kids are behaving and having fun hanging out with IP. I know my case manager was probably worried about us having them there. We assured her...no problems. I'd get my rest. :)

Well, time to call it a day!
Sticky thoughts,
A Surrogate Mom

October 25th, 2006 - Ultrasound & Disneyland

What a day!

Got to experience LA morning traffic at 6:30 am. Makes me appreciate my life as a SAHM. I sure do not miss that traffic stuff! Appt at 7:30 am...and well Doc rolled in after 8 am... I think the ultrasound ran about 1 minute? Good thing though...I was all good to go for the transfer tomorrow!!! Double booked for the appt tomorrow, but the day is at least finally here!

My IP, the kids and I went to Disneyland. It was an awesome day. My son was just the right height to ride on the big rides, so that was a relief. My daughter's best ride was Splash Mountain and the picture that captured the moment only supports that! lol The cashier gave her a disney pin for having the best facial expression to come through in a long time! We all had a good laugh...and a picture to remember! As for my son...all the rides were the best for him. When he called his dad, he just talked a mile a minute. So glad that my IP invited my kids to join me on the trip. They had an awesome time. About 7 pm the kids were getting a bit cranky, but I bribed them with hot chocolate and cookies to stay around for the parade...you can't miss the parade! They just loved it and that was the perfect ending of a day at Disneyland. (Then there was the wait for the tram back to our car!)

Wanted to go out for Korean BBQ but the kids were just exhausted, not to mention we were pretty full from all the yummies we ate throughout the day.

We did have Jack In the Box...my husband's favorite! Will have to tell him...as we do not have JIB in MN. :)

Well, off to bed and try to get some sleep before the transfer.

Sticky thoughts for tomorrow!
A Surrogate Mom

October 24th, 2006 - Leaving for LA

WOW, so much has happened since my last post that I haven't found the time to post sooner!

Leaving in 4 hours for the airport. My 2 kids are excited. Am sad to leave my baby but my oldest woke up not feeling the greatest, probably from lack of sleep. I think with the excitement of the two kids going with me and us trying to pack probably kept him awake. This will make it easier saying goodbye to the baby though. It will be like we are going to the store...just won't be back for five days!!! lol Funny...I'm worried about DH and Son watching the baby...and dh is worried about me loosing the kids at Disney.

Yes, we are going to Disneyland tomorrow! Can't wait. Never been to DL but have been to DW many of times....just not in a very long time.

I had my ultrasound on the 19th, everything looked good except for the fluid that showed up. urgh! They say that happens sometimes...just hope it does not delay the transfer. Will stop by the clinic on the way to DL and have another ultrasound. Hope it has gone away or if not, hopefully they can make it go away! The transfer is set for Thursday...just no time yet. Guess depends on the embryos.

The second ED has been so much more reliable here, so that has been a plus. She had her ultrasound on Oct 16th and they said she had 16 great looking follicles. (lol, do you know what a follicle is??) On Monday (yesterday), they were able to retrieve 25 eggs! WOW Well hopefully the transfer will take the first time. All my friends are praying STICKY THOUGHTS for me. I just don't see why it shouldn't as I've been doing all that I'm supposed to.

Last night I tried to be brave and give myself my injection, since now its everyday and I'm leaving for LA. Did not happen! Thankful for my neighbor for being home last night. She's a nurse; so I lucked out. I'm not sure what I will do when I get into LA tonight. I think our plane arrives just as they close. :( Well, my IP said his sis can do it for me. OK, as long as it isn't me doing it! lol

I'm a little concerned about the weight I gained while being on birth control. :( Ok...it really bothers me. Maybe its the stress that is causing this too???

Well I have to get running here. Got a few errands to do before we leave for the airport.

Sticky thoughts!
A Surrogate Mom

October 14th - Saturday Night at Home With the Kids

What a wonderful evening! The kids, ages almost 2, 5 and almost 10....they are coloring pictures and laughing and chatting. DH and our oldest, 13 yrs old, are online playing their xbox 360s. Now if everyday could be like this! In efforts to get the two year old from drawing on the walls, I have given her a notebook to color in whenever. She is very proud of her pics and is walking around showing us. And probably in a bit, she will sneak away and draw on the walls in the hallway or one of the kids' bedrooms! DH and I decided we will wait to paint the walls when she breaks this habit. None of the other kids ever drew on the walls.

I bought 15 pails of cookie dough this week! Anyone need any?! I wanted my 5 yr old to get some free stuff for selling. And then couldn't leave out the 10 yr old who is selling it too. Guess I will be donating some to the church!

Had my third shot yesterday. All seems to be going ok. I have been having headaches though. Went to the chiropractor today and I think that might have helped. I will go a few more times before the IVF transfer. The chiropractor says that it will help ready my body for the IVF as well as help my body to adjust to the hormones that I'm taking for the IVF. All I know is that I felt good. The chiropractor was really nice too. Looking forward to more appts. AND praying that this really does help the IVF take the first time. My ultrasound is in 5 days and I am pretty anxious to see how that goes. Guess that day will be here before I know it!

Well off to make some dinner for the kids. Have a great weekend all!!!

HUGS,
A Surrogate Mom

October 9th, 2006 - Columbus DID NOT Discover America!!!

So why the heck are they still teaching that to the children in elementary school? This morning my daughter said that her 5th grade teacher is teaching the wrong information. From the day my children could understand I have made sure that they understand that Columbus was a bad person. The Indians were living in "America" when Columbus happened upon them. You can't discover something that is already there! Columbus and his men slaughtered the Indians...so I prefer that my children not be taught otherwise. The joys of being a parent and wanting your children to be educated the correct way!

Anyways... I survived my first injection on Saturday, with the next dose tomorrow. I am glad that I have someone doing it for me. She poked my butt and I didn't even realize it was over!!! Ok...hope the rest of the injections are like that too! lol I've had a headache since the shot but not sure if that is the cause or what. The prenatal vitamins don't seem to make me sick like others have, so thats good.

Nothing too exciting going on this week. Got to get my newsletter done by Wed as our meeting is Thursday! Got Logos on Wed and I've volunteered in the kitchen for Oct and Nov. Its not too bad. I actually like it rather then watching the kids in the nursery. Speaking of nursery...on Sunday evenings my daughter and I volunteer in the nursery for Alpha. Kids are great this time around, but there is this cute, well-behaved baby that urpies non stop...ok...a lot where he really needs a bunch of spit rags...he only has one. Well he urpied so much last night, the smell in the nursery just made my stomach turn and feel so sick. lol Imagine how it will be when I'm actually preggo! lol Anyways just had to vent there...it was gross! lol Next week I will bring the lysol!

Will post again when I have something new to tell!
Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

October 6th, 2006 - Have a great weekend!!!

Well tomorrow is the day!!! Just called Dr's office and they said I do not need to have an ultrasound done tomorrow. So got that cancelled. BUT tomorrow I do start my prenatal vitamins and my first injection! Yes, I'm looking forward to it. lol This just means another major step towards becoming pregnant! I am so excited.

Probable Egg Retrieval is in just over 2 weeks...ok, 16 days to be exact. lol We will know actual retrieval in 10 days. And then we will know when I will fly to LA. My two kids that are going with me are way excited! And I got good news today too. The gal I carpool with will be able to help me out with the other two kids while I am gone. Yeah!!! Its all working out. :)

Looking forward to a busy weekend. Need to start and complete the MOPS monthly newsletter that I've been putting off. Work at the flea market. Been working real hard at home to declutter and get rid of stuff. OH SO HARD...lol Sunday nights, my daughter and I volunteer at church watching kids in the nursery. Looking forward to that because the Women's Guild (I think, lol), make a full meal for the group we do nursery for...and of course, we get to eat too!!! YUMMY!!!

Well if you dont hear from me for a few days, its b/c the shot in the butt has made me sore! LOL

Have a great weekend!
A Surrogate Mom

October 2nd, 2006 - Three More Weeks

...but who is counting?

I was just looking at my calendar. If all goes ok, the kids (2 out of 4) and I should be flying to LA... WOW We are all excited.

On Sunday morning news there was a feature on IVF. One of the interesting things mentioned was that women who do not exercise have a 40% more chance of getting preggo via IVF then women who do exercise. I guess no exercising for me??? lol

I am going to have to find more info on this. Has me curious now.

Nothing more to say today. Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

September 30th, 2006 - CHICKEN

LOL

Ok...had my telephone conference call to get me started on my injections. UMMMM...the needles are sort of long!

So, not sure I can do it myself and DH won't do it. lol So much for his support! lol

Ok...called my church and found a couple of retired nurses who are members of the church. YEAH....well for the 5 shots I have to do in October...I got 4 out of 5 covered. Need to find someone for Oct 13th! Anyone interested??? lol

I tell you, I can not wait... Oct 16th is the ED's ultrasound, so then we will have a more exact date for the transfer. I hope all goes well. I am a bit stressed...you know...worrying for the sake of worrying. Hoping that when I have my ultrasound on Oct 19th, that my lining will be thick enough for transfer. STICKY THOUGHTS everyone...pray for sticky sticky! lol

I dont know about my IP but I am totally excited now. Its hard to believe its finally that time! Next Saturday I will have my first injection as well as start my prenatals. I can't wait for the prenatals because my hair is getting long and I want to get it cut before I leave for LA. Going to donate it to Locks of Love. :) Oh...so the prenatals always make my hair grow more. :)

BTW, I know my IP is way excited...he's been looking at airfare already for me to come back out there!

Well...I will write again after my first injection...unless for some reason I dont get my "friend" on the 5th or 6th.

Have a great weekend!
A Surrogate Mom

September 25th, 2006 - Three Months Until Christmas!!!

WOW, time flies doesn't it??

Today is the last day of my last BC pill in the pack. Need to remember to go pick up my last pack of BC Pills. I only need to take for 8 more days and then I will be done with BC. Before I know it, I will be flying out to LA to get preggo with another guy's baby/babies! LOL Just love saying that...its a great laugh! On Thursday I have my telephone conference call to go over the injections and stuff. Hopefully the kids will cooperate and behave during this time.

My kids are angels!

ROFL

Well, nothing to exciting to report.... think and pray stick thoughts for me!

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

September 15th, 2006 - Exciting Times 3

That's how I feel today! Scheduled my ultrasounds today for Oct 7th and 19th. I was able to schedule them locally so I dont have to fly out to LA for that. Actually...trips to LA are fun...just hard to leave the kids now that they are in school.

The pharmacy in LA called today too. They are sending me stuff overnight...so will know what it is tomorrow.

I tell you...the last two days have brought so much excitement that I am just emotionally drained. I'm having all good vibes and feel real positive about everything going smoothly from here on...ok...at least thru to the transfer.

I pray that we get preggo with the first transfer. I'm afraid if I don't, that I will have let my IP down. I know you just dont know if it will take and how many will. We have met other IPs and Surro, where it took them one try, while some others went through 2-3 transfers...even more then 1 surro! So I think we are doing good...on our second ED...and as I told my IP...I'll be his only surro...so no worries there. :)

Well, thats all to report today. Its Citywide Garage Sale this weekend. So hoping it brings good traffic through the flea market where I'm set up at. I have tons of stuff at my home...just need to bring it up there. Anyways...so better run and get to bed...need to get up early!

Have a great weekend!
Hugs,
A Surrogate Mom

September 14th, 2006 - We've got a CALENDAR!!!

YEAH!!! The waiting has paid off and we are moving along... The nurse at the fertility clinic emailed me my calendar b/c I just couldn't wait for the mail to come with it! Isn't email great???

Well...looks like I will stop taking BC pills on 10/4 and then start the fertility drugs... Probable transfer between 10/25-10/27!!! Can't wait!!! Another trip to LA and my IP promised me canollis!!! My fav! (one of my many fav, lol)

This is way exciting! Can't wait. I will also start taking prenatals on 10/7...looking forward to that b/c my hair will start growing quicker! I have been growing my hair (for the second time) to donate to Locks of Love...so maybe by October I will be ready to cut my hair too!!! :)

Well I am just emotionally drained now...or maybe because with the kids in school, I am running around with my 23 month old and no naps!!! lol I miss the kids all being home!!! lol

So this is just going to be a short note tonight...night!!!

Hugs!
A Surrogate Mom

September 6th, 2006 - Kids are in school!

Yeah...the kids started school on Tuesday, with no problems. Child #3 has Kindergarten Orientation tomorrow and then he will officially start school on September 11th. So Sad. lol I miss having the kids at home...I honestly wasn't ready for them to go back! Funny...in a few years I will have one child in every school: Primary, Intermediate, Middle and High Schools! That will be fun when it comes to going to each child's open house!

Whenever I have special moments with the children as well as individually...I think of my IP and how he will experience similar moments with his children. How lucky he is, as well as how lucky his children will be to have a parent who loves his children even before they are born. Something to think about it...we are so lucky that there are options like surrogacy and adoption. (just some babbling thoughts there)

Tonight I just sat playing with child #4 who will be 2 in Oct. She is such a joy...happy, laughing, loves to cuddle, loves to sing, dance. She's growing up so quickly. Anyways...every night we sit at my computer and look at pictures of her sis and brothers...its as if its her first time seeing the pictures. We sit and sing songs together...talk and laugh. And I just hug her for making me one happy mommy. And as I sit there hugging her, telling her how much I love her, how cute she is (btw...she is VERY cute, lol) and greatful to God for having her...I see my IP log on and think that someday soon he will have a similar moment...hopefully with twins! :) In time.....

Speaking of time.... My IP now calls "my thing".... "my friend" LOL just makes me laugh every time! So I got my friend on Monday! :) Called the clinic on Tuesday...was sort of bummed that the ED wasn't ready...of course, not her fault...but for me, it means another pack of BC pills. BUT its getting closer... I think that our cycles should be in sync after this time. We anticipate a transfer late October or November. Hmmm....will I make it to the annual retreat or not? lol oops...focus...

hmmm....I'm at a loss for words right now... oh no! lol

Until the next time...
A Surrogate Mom :)

August 25th - Exciting News

Hi!

Received a call from my IP today. The doc from the fertility clinic said the ED came in and things are looking good. The doc is very happy and impressed with this ED too; so things have happened for a reason. I am very excited for my IP because I can just imagine the stress this has been for him. So things are all coming together. YEAH!!!

Additionally, my IP said the ED's cycle is in about 2 weeks! Hmmm....so is mine! Well ok close to it. I'm still on BC to control my cycles, so this pack of pills will end September 2. Then my cycle will begin. My unprofessional guess on a September transfer looks like the third/fourth week of September. hmmm....should we wager on this???

My IP and I want to have the babies before the annual retreat! lol (I think we had too much fun our first time going!) Hey, did you notice I said babies??? We are hoping for twins!!!! I tell you...I really want to go through that experience.

Well its exciting that this is going to be happening soon. The good news today has renewed that excitement! Time will go fast now, I hope. We have a lot going on in the next week. My two oldest have open house on Tuesday. I dont know why but they now call elementary school... Primary Grades (K-2) and Intermediate (3-5). So that's three separate Open Houses. Luckily I just have to go to the Intermediate and Middle School ones...of course, the schools are at opposite ends of the town. Next year, I will have one in Primary, Middle School and High School!!! and the year after that....preschool, primary, middle and high! WOW....

Anyways, I am just rambling. Its storming right now and there was a terrible burst of thunder and lightning...so I need to run and hide under the covers....I just HATE storms. That last one just shook the house. Scarey!!! lol

Well, have a great weekend!!!

A Surrogate Mom

August 23rd, 2003 - Nothing New Yet

Hi!

Nothing too exciting to report right now. Just waiting.

I did receive my charm bracelet from the Agency last week. I was SO excited to receive it. The first charm on it is a 4 leaf clover. Throughout the surrogacy I will get other charms to signify important stages. I had seen another surrogate wearing hers at the retreat...so I have been waiting for mine. I'm so excited about it.

Can't believe the kids start school in a few weeks. I will miss them for sure. I'm one of those moms who just loves having them at home...never wishing for them to go back to school. Took my oldest daughter school shopping in the cities. That was a fun day. So one down, two to go. Then the baby will be last after the others go to school. :)

Well, I have about 10+ days left of my cycle, so maybe there will be a good update at that time.

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

August 12th, 2006 - Good News, Bad News

Good News: Today started a new cycle for me!!! Was thinking I'd text message my IP but he's spending the weekend with friends...lol...and I dont think its as funny as the first time I did it knowing he was in jury duty. :)

Bad News: Was thinking we'd have the transfer take place the week of Labor Day, but the first ED didn't work out. But when there's bad news...there's good news to follow!!!

So...the Good News... I won't miss the first week of the kids school, especially with child #3 starting Kindergarten!!! My IP, who is a school teacher, won't miss the first week of school either. The clinic seems to think that we can still have a September transfer. IP & I are keeping our fingers crossed for September. IP's new ED is a good match and looking forward to working with her. LOL I guess I don't work with her, but I know my IP is happy. I feel the excitement again of getting ready for the transfers, ie the shots! lol

Well, that's about it for today. DH took the boys to the Game & Gun Show...you know that hunting stuff and ... entering Joe into some contest. LOL I forget what its called...but its where the dog runs down the dock and gets scored on how far he jumps into the water! Wish I could have gone but I have to clean and it wouldn't be much fun pushing the stroller around there with the little one. (Also just an excuse for me.) Actually, it would be neat to watch Joe compete. oh well. Better get the house picked up. We have three church camp counselors spending the week with us. Looking forward to that.

Have a great weekend!!!
A Surrogate Mom

August 8th, 2006 - The Excitement of Waiting

Hi there!
Well I was feeling sort of bored...only because this waiting is hard because I'm so excited to get pregnant! BUT yesterday my friend in San Diego passed her screening with the agency and is waiting now for her match. So that is exciting for me to "wait" with her to hear about her match. Brings back the excitement I had when I received the file on my IP. My IP and I are such a good match and have become fast friends...hard to believe we only matched in April and met in May!

Tomorrow I will finish another pack of BC pills! Yeah!!! So the ED (egg donor) should almost be ready too since our cycles are pretty close. That is exciting just to know that....to know that when she starts her cycle we will all be ready to transfer approximately 17 days later!!! (I think thats what they said, lol) Crossing my fingers that all goes well and we get preggo in Sept!!!

Well I'm off to do some work, while my 4 kiddies are still fast asleep. I'm back to doing a little data entry (processing rebates) at home for Young America and similar companies. I'm doing a new platform for them and its SO easy, so it makes the process that much easier...to do and to watch TV at the same time! lol Got to love these at home opportunities!!!

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

August 2, 2006 - OT: Today's Riddle

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed.

On your right side is sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.

Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

(See comments for the answer, if you can't figure it out)

July 31st, 2006 - Waiting Stinks!!!

Isn't that the truth??? Anxiously awaiting to get preggo. That's why I'm saying waiting stinks! lol I know...I'm like a little kid when it comes to waiting. No surprises here...just tell me. Can't wait.

What's that saying about "waiting" "virtue" "patience"??? Oh whatever! LOL Its hard to wait, but I think that is only natural. The donor and I are not in sync yet, so we will hope to be in sync with our next cycle. So no worries...our journey moves on and well, just more time for my IP to learn the funny odd things about me...like how I can't stand animals and animal smells, but we have a beautiful black lab named Joe (you know, Joe from Blues Clues?) that lives with us. I don't know what it is, but I've had problems with Smells all my life. I can't even go to the public restrooms in the Travel Stops...you kwim??? lol

Well, things all happen for a reason and soon, one of these postings will be me shouting that we are on our way back to CA for the transfer!!! Think positive thoughts for us!!! You know what? I was thinking that if we do the transfer in early September (that was my unprofessional guess when it will happen now), my IP will have twins (of course, with me carrying them)....the twins will come early...but healthy early, of course...and it will be on my birthday! May 6th! So things all happen for a reason!!! lol

Hope all of you who live in places where there is a heat advisory take care of yourselves. Be careful out there. The news says we should NOT do our laundry today or tomorrow!!! Is that AWESOME or what??? Ok...they really said that we should not do laundry until after 10 pm in order to conserve energy. Yeah, just what I want to do tonight at 10! I will be watching SoapNet then. Gosh, do I love watching SoapNet before bed! lol Maybe we can do with out clean laundry until Wed. Well take care of yourselves in this heat!!!

Have a great week everyone!

A Surrogate Mom

July 26th, 2006 - 5 months until Christmas!!!

HA!

Just looking for a fun Title. How does that work? :)

Well, it looks like there might be a chance that the Transfer will not happen next month as planned. BUT that's okay, we are still going to be positive that it will happen in August, but if it happens in September, that is okay too. Things happen for many reasons. You don't realize how much work goes into a planned pregnancy! lol I supposed its a lot better then the "oops" we're having a baby. :)

Well September is probably a better month to go to Disney anyways...and I know the kids will enjoy missing a week of school for some fun! Their friends do it all the time and well...now its their turn! ALSO, since I'm a jeans only gal....Sept might be nicer for me! lol See it all happens for a good reason, right?!

I referred a friend to the Agency to be a surrogate. Her screening and physical were today. I sure hope that she does well. She was very nervous, but then so was I when I went in for my screening. I think she will do fine. I'm so excited for her. I've been very happy with my choice. :)

Well, nothing exciting going on here. My kids are getting bored but its been to hot out to really enjoy anything. Actually wish it would rain so the grass would turn green.

Got to run...dinner is ready (or burning)....
Have a great day!

A Surrogate Mom

July 19, 2006 - I Got my "friend"!!!

Most times when you text message a guy that you got your "thing," it's usually because you're both stressing if you're pregnant or not....BUT not in my case! My IP and I have been waiting for me to get "it" because we can now get my calendar ready for my IVF transfer. Its so exciting! Waiting too for the egg donor's cycle to begin this week too. The clinic should be sending the calendars out next week. I can't wait because then the kids and I can plan our trip to CA!!!

We heard that the Pirate ride at Disney was changed to go with the movie, so the kids and I went to see the movie today. They really enjoyed it. Not sure I understood the end because I wasn't paying attention. lol

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

July 16th, 2006 - What my 5 yr old said today

Happy Sunday!!!

Had to drive into town to get some food and took my 5 year old with me. We were talking about our trip to CA and how he is so excited to go to Disneyland. I happened to mention how IP was excited to take us and to meet him and his sister. I used my IP's name to him and he's like, who is that? So I told him that was the guy I was going to have a baby for... a baby that was not mine or his daddy's. I could tell he was thinking about this and he said "I guess I didn't realize you were going to have another baby. I thought you were going to sell one of us!"

Ok, I did my best not to laugh, but out of curiosity I asked him which of the 4 of my children should I give to my IP. He said it was a tough decision. Kids are just so sweet and funny! Of course I told him I was helping my IP make a baby and he would take the baby home with him...and send us pictures as the baby grew up.

Definately looking forward to our trip to CA next month, as well as my IP meeting my 5 yr old. Of course, I would like him to eventually meet all my children, but my 5 yr old is very unique...funny...just the best to have conversations with and get his interpretation on how things are.

Btw...tonight is the last night of my pack of BC pills! So like I said...we should know more once I get my "thing!" lol BTW...and its funny to talk to a guy about getting it...but its a good laugh and he's learning!

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

July 11th, 2006 - Update!!!

What a long day. Talked to the gal at the Clinic who does the calendar for us. She thinks that the transfer should take place around the week of August 27! We will know for sure next week when both the egg donor and I start our cycles!

My IP (and me too) is very excited now...finally...its going to happen.

My two kids are excited too because they will come to CA with me.

Me...I am way excited and then to find out how many take. Can't wait!

Not too much to say today. Will post again when I find out more!

Have a great day!
A Surrogate Mom

July 10th, 2006 - Update!!!

Where does time go? Still not pregnant. Since the last time I posted, DH and I considered relocating with the kids to CA, but then things changed at his current job here in MN that remaining here would be better for us.

I'm still on birth control pills and will start my 4th pack of pills next week. I am very anxious to get pregnant. Seems like I've been waiting forever...but patience....

Contacted the Fertility Clinic and seems that I must wait for the egg donor to get in sync with me with her cycles. BUT they are confident that the IVF transfer will take place mid August. I hope so!

I am planning to go to Disneyland before my appt and bringing two of my kids for fun. So the kids and I are saving up for the trip to CA and Disney. (You'll have to check out my eBay site and businesses.)

Well it exciting that maybe next month will be time! I am going to call the clinic in the AM and see whats going on.

Hope all is well with you!
A Surrogate Mom

June 4th, 2006 - Surrogate & IP Retreat Weekend!

What a blast! Can't wait until next year! I had the best time of my life and I know now that I made a wonderful decision to be a surrogate, plus I have a great IP!

I was lucky to get a direct flight out on Northwest. Got there and waited outside for the Agency's white van. I panicked when it passed me and I thought I would have to wait another hour for the next one. Turns out that they van had been circling LAX for a while picking up Surrogates. I too had my turn of riding in circles in the van around LAX. lol Got to meet a bunch of surrogates, newbies and returning ones. I felt like we all bonded...some of the gals who I will keep in touch with too.

Was able to check in to the hotel when we go there. I was sort of sad because my roommate did not show up...maybe she was too pregnant or something. So I had a room to myself.

There was a pampering session for the surrogates before our dinner. Some had manicures while others had hand or foot massages. I choose the hand massage. During this time, the Agency brought in a cart FULL of assorted size boxes from CRATE AND BARREL!!! These gifts were part of a Get To Know You for the agency of the surrogates. We all got to choose a box, put our name on it and on Sunday, when we turned in our assignment, we would get our gift. Inside those boxes where gifts worth $25+ with one having a $500 gift card! No...I didn't get the gift card! Bummer. lol But I got some cute cookie cutters!

Dinner was fun. Met more surrogates. Ate some great food. Then went back to my room to crash.

On Saturday morning there was a breakfast for the Surrogates and Intended Parents. We were told to sit close to the buffet because the lines were long. So my IP and I did! lol It was a lot of fun. Not everyone's surrogate or IPs were able to come. There were some surrogates who IPs were from out of the country. Thought that was neat. You know, it was sort of like family day at camp and everyone's parents attend but yours! kwim? Umm...that would be me. Thank goodness my IP was there, as he actually lives in CA. :) Nice for me!

The speaker at breakfast was the president of the Family Pride Coalition. Her speech was just motivating and made you realize your responsiblity to society to educate others about our growing community. And I do feel that as a surrogate I can help to do just that.

Something interesting.....the speaker mentioned about a study done where 23% of our children live with two parents, and obviously this study was done on a family with heterosexual parents.

Lunch was fun. Got to visit more with my IP and others. The speakers were IPs (a couple and a single father), a surrogate, and an egg donor. Gosh, I can't remember if I forgot anyone. lol It was facilitated by the Owner & CoFounder of the Agency. It was awesome...so was the food. (OMG, we ate good for three days!) Just to be in the room with all the people was just incredible. There was so much love...so much feeling in this room. All I know...I was thinking that I'm glad I was not pregnant because anything anyone said/shared, I could feel the tears coming to my eyes. OMG...it was just incredible.

Backing up to breakfast. They introduced the employees from the Agency, everyone involved in making this retreat possible....then they had the Intended Parents stand up...and last but not least...the Surrogates. Just remembering this and writing this still brings emotional tears to my eyes! You just had to be there. It was the best feeling to be part of all of this...to be there...to be part of making it possible for these people to become parents. It was a room full of love and happiness, forget about your troubles, problems and hate in our world. There just was NO ROOM for anything but love and happiness. The positive energy in the room was definately felt by all. My tears of joy were also because as I looked around the room at all the Surrogates, I realized what amazing women they are for what they are doing. Not anyone can be a surrogate. It takes a very special person to be a surrogate. I am very proud to be part of this community. Side note: Its sort of funny if you think about it...the surrogate can be a very powerful person! Our IPs need us! LOL I'm so glad my IP has a great sense of humor.

Ok...so that was Breakfast and Lunch. Dinner was on the roof top. Gorgeous view and wonderful dinner and desserts! lol BUT, man, it was SUNNY and hot up on the roof! lol

Oh, I guess it would be nice to talk about the seminars/classes that they had for the surrogates. Well we got gifts in each one...that was fun. lol The things they had for us were fun. Learned a lot, got to visit with people.

There was time before dinner to walk around. So a friend, my IP and I walked down to Santa Monica Blvd. Was a nice walk until we had to walk back! Walking up that HILL was a workout. I think that was more work then SEX! (LOL TMI???) It was fun visiting.

Sunday came. It was sad for the weekend to come to an end. The retreat ended at the House of Blues. We all met in the lobby. I was on the first van run to LAX. I was also excited to find out that 4 other surrogates were on my flight as they had connecting flights in Minneapolis! Anyways...loaded our stuff in the van and then took off for the House of Blues. I was smart...I rode with my IP. I learned about walking the day before. lol

The House of Blues was a blast. It was Sunday Brunch and there was a gospel band there. Reminded me a lot of New Orleans (one of the many places I went to college, lol). The food was good. It was a great time there. And then it was time to go to LAX.

It was sad to go. Sad to leave my new friends and hope to cross paths with them again...possibly at next years retreat. Sad to say bye to my IP, but I will see him again for the transfer. What a sweetie...he got pastries for the kids. YUMMY!!!! The gals and I stuck our fingers in some of it on the way home to try it. Heck, didnt think the kids would mind...they eat anything! LOL

The flight home was a lot of fun. A lot of chatting and laughing. Three of us got to sit together, so that made the time on the flight go fast.

I wish I could name names of people at the agency here but I am not sure what I can say or not. All I know is that I am truly impressed with everything and each of the employees at the Agency. I am rather shy...ok, not as outgoing as some of the others there...so I didn't really get to know many of the Agency workers as some, but I watched them and listened to them. (LOL, I hope that doesn't make me a stalker!) They are so lucky to have the jobs that they do. I tell you, I would someday love to be a case manager for the agency. (I used to be a case manager for many years for the State of MN, that I think it could happen!) The agency put on a great retreat! And while I am 38 now, I hope that I will be able to be a surrogate 1 or 2 more times...yeah, so I can go to the retreat. lol

I was happy to be back in MN...and home to my family. It truly was a great weekend.

May 20th, 2006 - Match Confirmed

Well, just got back from CA. Met my IP. Great guy. The agency did a great job in matching us. It was such a relief to finally meet. He brought me these beautiful exotic flowers. That was so nice....hmmm, my husband has never done that before! lol

We had lunch at a restaurant outside the agency. My IP and DH seemed to get along. It was fun getting to know each other. My IP gave us a ride to the hotel after this. DH made me sit in the front...oh great. Well, let me tell you....I think some small person had sat in the front previously because I felt like a HUGE whale or something sitting in the front seat. I guess if I was smart, I could have adjusted the seat. LOL I was too nervous anyways.

At the hotel, I had to go take a nap, as once again, I had no sleep from being excited. I knew I wanted to work with him, so I would just call the agency and let them know. The agency actually called me to say that my IP liked me and wanted to work together. PHEW...I hate waiting...so I was very relieved. My IP offered to take me to dinner since DH and his buddy from San Diego were going to hang out. But I was tired and took a 3 hour nap. I could have slept longer but I was hungry. So went out to dinner with DH and his buddy. It was the first time these two actually met. They have been buddies online (on Xbox) for two years, so this was nice for them.

Well, got my IP programmed in my cell phone now. Ready for the next step.

Leave for CA in two weeks for the retreat. My IP will be attending so that will be nice to visit again.

May 6th, 2006 - Happy Birthday To ME!

LOL Just thought I would share with you that I turned 38 today! 5 years ago today I met my birth mom for the first time! Seems just like yesterday! lol

Not doing anything for my birthday. We are just busy with this and that. Decided that we will do dinner in CA for my birthday. We leave in 2 weeks.

May 3rd, 2006 - Scheduling the Match Meeting!!

Heard from my case manager today. (She's great, btw!)

Our match meeting is scheduled for May 19th. I'm so excited. Can't wait to meet my IP. I wish I could share about my IP, as he seems like a great person! AND, lol, I have read his match profile so many times now, that I probably need to print another copy. Heck, test me on the info, I know it all now! lol

I've been completing tons of papers for this and that. I am very impressed how organized everything has been. I am pretty anxious for this to get going since filling out my application back in January! They've begun the paperwork for life insurance and medical.

Oh...we will meet my IP, chat and then go out to lunch/dinner to get to know each other. Then after the meeting we have 24 hours to let the agency know if this will work or not.

I think it should work. I have good vibes about all this.

April 25th, 2006 - Invitation to the Agency Retreat

I got my invite to the Agency Retreat for Surrogates and Intended Parents. Its the first weekend in June. No kids, no DH. Ok...I'm there! Can't wait to go.

:)

April 14th, 2006 - We have a match!

Yeah! I have been matched. My IP needs to find an egg donor now and then a match meeting between my IP and DH & me will be set up.

This is very exciting. :) Plus it means another fun trip to CA with DH.

April 13th, 2006 - My Second Potential Match Profile

The agency called today about another possible match. My request was to work with a couple, but they asked if I would be willing to work with a single person. At first I was going to say no, but then I thought....who am I to judge? I was a single parent once and proud of it. Why deny a single person that right? Ok...so I said that I would work with a single person.

I am very happy they called me about this person. Our personal profiles matched to a T and the person was open to working with an out of state surrogate. (most like to work with CA surrogates because the laws are more lax there) I got good vibes about working with this person, so I let the agency know right away that I would like to work with this person.

So now what happens, the Agency will contact this Potential "Intended Parent" (aka IP) with my profile info. Hopefully this person will like me. Funny I'm all worried that the IP won't like me or want someone skinnier. (Ok...I'm not bad...just haven't lost the weight from baby #4) Why wouldn't the IP like me? rofl Ok...another waiting game...

April 12th, 2006 - My first potential match profile

That was indeed quick! Cute couple from the East Coast. After reviewing their personalized profile and matching preference questionnaire, I really liked them and was willing to work with them. I did have some concerns which I felt might not make a good match, which the Agency agreed. So will wait for another potential match.

I am very glad that the agency lets me choose first, as to whom I want to work with.

April 10th, 2006 - Results of my nicotine test

NEGATIVE!!!!

YES! Just the news I wanted to hear. What a relief and no more stressing about this. Its funny...I have never been a smoker, never cared for it, nor would I date anyone who smoked. AND no I wasn't desparate when I married my husband. lol

The bad thing though...I have repeatedly told DH how the second hand smoke affects the children, and this only proves to him now that its not affecting the kids. He is good about not smoking around the children but if the children go down to his playroom (yes, his adult playroom...big screen and xbox 360!, lol), then they are around smoke. We live in a new construction home and by law, the new homes must have air exchangers. These air exchangers work great in homes that there are smokers because it pulls the smoke out...and your walls and ceiling dont turn yellow. DH smokes in his playroom and outside, and NEVER upstairs where the kids are all the time.

Nevertheless, DH is cutting back on smoking and will be smoke free soon, as he promised.

Just thought I would share this too. DH's family are all smokers...big smokers. (yuck, eh?) DH has smoked since he was 13, so quitting now at age 36, is a big deal for him. I am happy that he is quitting so he can live many more years with the children and me! From now until the end of my surrogacy, I will be staying away from places that will subject me to second hand smoke...that includes family events unless they come to our home.

SO...now I am medically cleared and ready to be matched! At the screening they said that there are more Intended Parents then surrogates, so hopefully there will be a match for me quickly. Will call the Agency to let them know I'm cleared to go. HOW EXCITING!!!

April 1, 2006 - Telling Family and Friends about the Surrogacy

Hi!

I thought I would take this time to share with you the reactions of people.

I chose to be open about my surrogacy. As far as the couples identity, color, nationality, religion, and sexual preference, that is personal and private, and basically not important as far as I am concerned. I will choose to work with a couple whose profiles are similar to mine and go from there.

Majority of the people I have told think that its a great thing I am doing. Many people have friends who have had problems conceiving.

I had probably 2 negative people. The first was a nurse at the local ER. I didn't ask her opinion, I was just wanting to know where the closest Level 3 hospital was. She got on me about ethical and moral issues. That just irritated me. It didn't change how I felt but I know that I'm going to stay clear of people like her. lol The other negative was a local friend who was against being a surrogate for gays and lesbians. She really had a lot to say, which of course, I wasn't interested in hearing because her views were obviously closed minded. So another person to stay clear of. lol

First reactions from some friends were "How much money are you going to get?" Ok, I thought that was a bit rude, but ok, respect what comes out of their mouth. lol

I told my oldest daughter who is 9 what I wanted to do about a month ago. She thought it was neat and asked if she could tell her friends.

My oldest son, 12, said ok. He didn't seem to care too much. lol

My 4 yr old said that it was fine, BUT no more kids living here because baby (18 months) is enough for him to handle. lol He also mentioned that there weren't enough rooms in our new home for more babies.

The baby is too young to tell. lol

DH told his parents what I was doing before we left for CA. He also explained to his dad that it would be someone elses egg and sperm, nothing from me or him. OK. So when we get back from CA, his dad calls him to say that his mom and him approve of my decision to be a surrogate. His dad also said his mom asked are the parents ok if the baby comes out Chinese? (lol, I'm 100% Chinese, btw) What made this even funnier...my MIL is a nurse!

My birth aunt (I was adopted at birth, btw) was a bit upset with me for being a surrogate for strangers, but as I told her I would not do this for family or friends. I think doing it through a good agency was my best route. My birth aunt has been wanting children of her own and has not been able to conceive. I really feel for her but I think for me there would be more issues to deal with...and problems waiting to happen. Not a chance I want to take.

Overall, I think the reaction/responses have been good. Many people haven't heard of surrogacy or have never known someone who has done this before, so they are just as excited for me and to follow my journey. So I am happy about that.

For those following my journey, I hope that you enjoy reading about my journey and share in the excitement.

March 29th, 2006 - We are home!

OMG....what an awesome SHORT time in CA. I had a nice time. We stayed at a really nice hotel, just off of Sunset Blvd.

Ok, so here is how it went....

The flight out was fine. We transferred in Phoenix. Wow...its beautiful there...well all I saw were the mountains as we flew into the airport there. When we got to CA, a driver was waiting for us. Its fun to see your name on the big white card! LOL We were a little early for our appointment at the agency, so at this cute little place. We met with so many people. I was nervous. I had to take some psychological tests on the computer. I hope I did ok because I had no sleep from the excitement of going. I think I was sleeping while answering the questions. I just wanted it to be done with. lol Everyone at the agency was so nice.

After that was over, we were on our own until the next day with the fertility dr. So we went to the hotel, walked around and had dinner. LOL Nothing too exciting as we were both really exhausted.

Went to my appt at the fertility clinic. Love the doc I will be working with. He is funny and outgoing, which really helps. He says I'm boring...medical history boring. The exam went well. I am going to be tested for nicotine because DH is a chain smoker. DH does not smoke around the main areas of the house where the kids and I are, but downstairs and outside. I'm not a smoker, never have been, and I will be upset if I test positive. The doc says that no one wants to work with a surrogate who is positive for nicotine. Dh stated he will quit, as it is time that he should and because I want to be a surrogate. Will find out in two weeks my results of the exam and nicotine. How stressful! I know my exam should be fine as I've been healthy forever and had 4 great pregnancies.

The trip back to MN was fun as our connecting flight was through Las Vegas this time. We had a 3 hour layover. We were able to get on an earlier flight in Vegas so we got home at midnight, rather then 4 am, which was our original flight. It was nice to get home and see the kids. The kids had made Welcome Home decorations so that was fun. I should have taken pictures. oh well.

We are home safe. Now to wait two weeks for the results!

March 26, 2006 - Leaving for CA!

Well, the sitter is here to watch the kids until we get back. Everything is ok for me to do my screening and medical stuff.

I'm pretty excited. See you when I get back!

March 23rd, 2006 - Preparations for my trip for "screening"

OMG, the agency just realized that I'm still nursing and that might be a problem. Meaning our trip to CA might be cancelled. Oh I hope not. DH will be very upset because he took off work those two day and its too late for his work to get jobs for him. (DH is in construction.) So keeping my fingers crossed that all goes ok.

I've always been regular, even with nursing. I will stop nursing immediately though. :(

March 20th, 2006 - Update on my application process

oops...got to get better at this journaling stuff.

Here is what has happened over the last month or so.

Had my phone interview. I was so nervous, but I think it went well. Turned in additional paperwork, criminal checks came back fine. As a surrogate you choose who you work with. I am open to working with "anyone." My preference is a happy gay couple who want at least twins. My parents would probably roll over in their grave if they knew that I wanted to help a gay couple, but I would think they would respect my decision. My in-laws would probably not agree with my decision. Anyways, bottom line, I feel there should be no discrimination (color, religion, sexual preference, etc) on who can be a parent, so long as they truly want to be loving and caring parents, and to raise their children in a healthy and loving environment.

After the phone interview, I had to call them when my next cycle started, as then I would fly out to CA for my screening and physical two weeks later.

Received my benefits package today. That was exciting. My screening is schedule for March 27th & 28th in California. DH will have to fly out there with me.

BTW....Last month I got my husband his big screen tv and X-box 360. All I know is he better appreciate that 360 b/c I called WalMart and GameStop everyday to see if they got a shipment in for them. So he's happy. :)

I'm excited for our trip to CA. Someone from our church helped refer me to someone to watch our children, since we have no family and friends where we live. We are fairly new to the area. DH and I never took a honeymoon when we got married because we had to quick get married and go to Texas to take care of some legal matters concerning him adopting my oldest son who was born there. So, our Anniversary is March 29th, so this will be nice to have a little fun in CA, even if its a quick trip. I will have my screening on the 27th, meet people at the agency. Then on the 28th, I have my physical.

Haven't flown in a long time. Sort of having anxiety about it, crashing and who will take care of the kids, blah blah blah. I know it will all be fine. Its hard to be away from the kids when I am with them 24/7. Looking forward to time with DH though. :)

January 30th, 2006 - Processing Application

Ok....Legal got back to them and things are a go. Will have my phone interview soon. I'm excited but nervous.

January 20th, 2006 Status of My Application

Well I finally heard from the agency. They said my application looks perfect and that I fit the criteria. yeah! BUT.... they need to wait to hear from Legal if they can work with surrogates from MN. I guess surrogacy is not legal in a few states. Fortunately in MN, surrogacy is legal. The agency just does not have working relations established here, so they want to make sure this will work.

Well, at least thats some good news. :)

January 10th, 2006 - He Said NO

My husband said no right away and gave me three reasons: 1. it was just another crazy idea of mine to make some $$$ to continue staying home, 2. I would not do good with someone telling me what to eat, drink, wear, do, etc. and 3. Could I give up the baby in the end.

Well, it isn't about or for the money (although I bet any good surrogate would say that too). The agency matches you with parents with similar personalities, wants, expectations, etc. Lastly, I could give up the baby because I would be the gestational surrogate. Gestational surrogates are basically the "oven," as people seem to call it. I will not use my eggs nor my husband's sperm. A traditional surrogate uses her own eggs. Basically, I told him, that I was doing this because its something I always wanted to do. I felt I was meant to help another, since I have had 4 great pregnancies.

So it came down to this from my husband. 1. No more babies in our family and so long as we are not stuck with anyone's baby, fine. 2. Realize I can't change my mind once I start the process. 3. He'll watch our children but he's not going to be in the delivery room 4. He wanted a big screen HDTV and an Xbox 360.

So the decision has been made. I have completed the application to be a surrogate now that I have his approval. (Just haven't told him that he has to take time off from work and fly to CA with me a couple of times. Will tell him later.)

You know, I don't think being a surrogate mom is for everyone. You just "know" if you can. LOL, so professional sounding, eh?

My husband asked me to marry him after being together for a month. I just laughed because I thought this was his tactic to have sex with me. He was serious. He wanted to marry me and be the dad to my two little ones. He said you either know or you don't. If you have reservations about the person from the gecko, well then, its just not worth wasting time on the relationship. I liked his thinking, as I remember the wasted years of trying to make relationships work with the dumb a$$es I've been with. Ok...so I said Yes. I had no reservations of getting married and spending the rest of my life with him. Funny to think about friends who have been together for 10+ years and STILL don't know if they are with the right person. lol

So, I have no reservations about being a surrogate mom. :)